


New Year’s Kiss

by GeeKnProuD



Category: The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Alcohol, Dancing, Explicit Language, Explicit Sexual Content, F/M, First Kiss, Flirting, New Year's Eve, New Year's Kiss, Unrequited Crush
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-31
Updated: 2018-01-26
Packaged: 2019-02-24 07:22:44
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 13
Words: 25,580
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13208796
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GeeKnProuD/pseuds/GeeKnProuD
Summary: Miranda Jones was your typical book worm with an eidetic  memory, always has been, always will. Being part of the Avengers didn’t change that in the slightest. She’s quiet and rarely talks unless spoken to, her shyness always getting in the way of making friends and keeping them.Bucky usually keeps to himself, he prefers it that way. Except for Steve of course. It’s not been easy for him joining the Avengers, especially trying to make friends with the other teammates. But there is one girl he can’t seem to keeps his eyes from drifting to whenever she’s in the room...Miranda...quiet, sweet, smart and sexy as hell without trying Miranda.Steve and Natasha have always had sexual chemistry between them....a look here, a teasing remark there, and oh the flirting. Everything comes to a head when Steve finally gives in to his feelings and makes a leap of faith, for his New Year's Kiss.





	1. Book Worm

Miranda

It’s been twelve days since I’ve had some time to just relax and do what I love best...read. Ok so it’s not exciting like Tony’s garage with all his toys or Steve’s bike that he works on in his spare time. I don’t have a family like Clint or travel the cosmos like Thor protecting the Nine Realms. It’s just what I do, I love it, I always have.

I can spend hours with my nose in a book. An actual paper book, not one of those downloaded ones on a Kindle. I tried it once, it just took something away from the experience, so I gave it away. There is just something magical about losing yourself in the story unfolding before you. Placing yourself right beside those heroic and passionate subjects, taking the journey right along with them.

Yes, I work for the Avengers, it’s an exciting job...for some. Me, I work in Intelligence, I mostly spend my time in the basement at a computer all day. I go over all incoming data from missions and categorize them all. I also give teams information they need to complete the job. If Cap needs a map on a certain city..I got him covered, along with anything important about that city that could be pertinent to the mission at hand. Such as schematics on the local power plant in Bolivia needed on the last mission.

It’s nothing fancy, most of the time I go for a good solid 8-10 hours without seeing another human being. Friday talks to me some, is it weird to consider an AI a friend? She’s probably my only friend. Wow that does sound sad and pathetic. Ok, well Natasha talks to me on occasion when she’s not busy off being a superhero, I guess she’s a friend. 

If my Momma were alive she would scold me and tell me I need to be more sociable. I grabbed my book bag and slug it over my shoulder and headed out. Being sociable, how do you even do that? Obviously I have no clue. But to try and make my Momma not completely roll over in her grave, I read in my spare time in the lunch room or outside near where agents train. I’m around people..so it’s kinda like being sociable, right?

I walked silently down the many halls leading from my quarters to the lunch room. I paused in the doorway and anxiety hit me hard...the room was packed with agents. Dammit! My eyes glanced over at the table in the back corner of the room where I would normally sit. Three agents sat chatting and laughing away while eating. I was frozen in place for a few moments, not sure what to do.

“Move it Book Worm..some of us want to eat.” I jerked out of the way, clinging to my book bag like a lifeline. “Sorry” I whispered and Agent Graham rolled his eyes as he passed through the now unblocked doorway to head to the lunch line. I didn’t want to go outside to read, it was too cold. It was almost New Years Eve, I guess everyone was getting some much needed days off as well.

I sighed and pushed some of my wayward brown hair behind my ear. What I really wanted to do was run back to my room and hold up there until I can go back to work on January 2nd. My supervisor said I had accumulated too many unused vacation days and made me take off work until after the New Year. A buncha hogwash if you ask me. What would I do on vacation anyway? 

I pulled out my cell phone and chewed my lip. Maybe the gym wouldn’t be too busy this time of day. Most agents worked out early in the morning or evening. I usually went very late. If I didn’t have to pass a physical every year to work here I wouldn’t even do that. Sighing in defeat I went through the lunch line to get an apple and some carrot sticks before heading to find a quieter place. 

I was right, the gym only had a few people in it. Two of which were none other than Steve Rogers and Bucky Barnes, who were in the boxing ring. I walked past them and looked up briefly, they both looked my way. Steve smiled and waved, “Good afternoon Agent Jones.” I gave a small wave and a smile. Bucky watched me with his intense eyes, I quickly looked away and felt the blush creeping up my neck and flaming my cheeks. Damn he’s handsome!

Some mats were sitting by the back wall, light coming through the window made it a perfect spot to sit and read. I removed my book bag and sat down with my back against the wall. The sunshine was warming my skin deliciously, making the jacket I wore pointless. I shimmied out of it and placed it next to me. I couldn’t hide my excited smile as I grabbed my book and leaned it against my bent knees. Grabbing a carrot stick I crunched down on it as I opened to the first page...Finally!


	2. Someone’s Got A Crush

Bucky

“Why didn’t you say hi?” I glared at Steve who just stood there frowning at me. “I don’t know.” He sighed and glanced over my shoulder at her. “She’s all by herself, like usual, just go to her.” I ran a frustrated hand through my hair, hating how nervous I am, especially around Miranda. I was never like this before...before Hydra.

“I wouldn’t even know what to say to her.” Steve rolled his eyes and began to unwrap his hands. “Just say Hi...that’s it. Hi, Miranda, what book are you reading today? Come on, it’s not that hard.” I unwrapped my right hand in frustration, refusing to look up at him. “Easier said than done. She wouldn’t want to talk to me anyway, who would.” 

I glanced back at the beautiful woman currently grinning from ear to ear. Her green eyes scanning the pages of her book with such joy and excitement. How can one simple act bring someone such happiness. Why would I want to disturb that? “Bucky..” I turned toward Steve and could tell he wanted to say more. “Just leave it alone Steve, please.”

I left the gym with one final look back. I envied Miranda, I longed to be able to find some kind of happiness in this world. A place where I fit in and felt at peace. I had hoped it would be with her, something about the brunette pulled me in like a magnet. 

I remember the first day I met her like it was yesterday. She was bringing some sort of paperwork to Steve for a signature. We had been talking about an upcoming mission, my first with the team. She stood off to the side and waited patiently as we continued to talk. I noticed her first, how could I not, she was absolutely beautiful!

Chestnut brown hair that hung around her shoulders that had a hint of red when the light hit it just right. Pale skin that looked as soft as silk with just a hint of freckles on her nose and cheeks. The icing on the cake was those big green eyes. I don’t think I have ever seen eyes so captivating in all of my 100 years. Of course Steve had seen me freeze and look at her, knowing instantly that I was attracted to her. He grinned that knowing smile of his. Damn him!

She was soft spoken and obviously very shy. Boy did I understand that all too well. Steve had tried to talk to her, asking her name since she was new. He had nudged me to try and get me to talk, but all I had managed was a nod and a quick “Hey.” I felt like a complete idiot! She had looked up briefly into my eyes and my breath was nearly knocked out of me, rendering me speechless. Just like today, she’d quickly looked down, thanked Steve for his signature and left.

I watched her leave...and even though I didn’t want her to go, damn was it amazing to watch her leave. Wow! What can I say, I’m an ass man. Something else Steve knew as well. He had nudged me with his elbow and wiggled his eyebrows, “Pretty huh?” I could only nod, pretty didn’t even cover it.

What is wrong with me?! I use to be able to make a dame blush with just a simple smile and a wink. I’d have a new girl on my arm almost every week. Steve had been the shy one, nervous and stammering, unable to talk to girls to save his poor soul. 

If there was ever proof that Hydra had truly killed whatever was left of James Buchanan Barnes, it was this. I’ve had to find out who I am all over again. It’s worse than going through puberty! I know what and who I want to be, but I can’t seem to connect that want with reality. It just sucks! Big time!

I clenched my metal hand and looked down at the offending appendage. No wonder she won’t look at me, who could blame her. In my head I could hear my damn therapist that Steve hired to help me adjust. Every time I think negative thoughts about myself I was told to chant to myself, ‘I am not a monster. I am not what Hydra forced me to be. I am a whole person who deserves happiness.’ What a crock of shit! 

I entered my quarters and went directly to my bedroom, stripping down for a shower. The warm water cascaded down my body, slowly relieving some of the tension in my muscles. Dipping my head I allowed the water to soak my hair, closing my eyes and sighing at how good it felt, like it was baptizing me and washing away all of my sins...and there were many.

When my shower was over I dried off and wrapped a towel around my waist. I sat on my bed and pushed my damp hair back away from my eyes. My phone chimed and vibrates on the bedside table. Picking it up, it was a text from Steve, of course it was. Steve never could just leave things alone.

Steve: You ok?

I rolled my eyes and debated deleting the text without even responding. 

Me: Yeah, I’m good. Sorry about bailing on you.

Steve: No problem, Nat took your place. 

I grinned and couldn’t help but text back.

Me: She landed you right on your pompous ass didn’t she?

Steve: I plead the 5th!

I laughed out loud, I’ve seen Nat take Steve down on multiple occasions. It’s funny as hell seeing such a petite woman take him down and hard! It’s also rather enjoyable seeing him blush like a tomato when she has her thighs wrapped around his neck. I still say he lets her do it on purpose.

Me: Uh huh..ok Tell Nat I said Hi.

Steve: So you can say Hi...interesting. Btw, Miranda is still here reading. 

I gawked at the screen as the next message came through, a picture. Damn him! Damn him straight to hell!! It was a picture of Miranda. 

Me: Yeah, not at all creepy having u take her picture without her knowing...punk!

Steve: Come here and teach me a lesson then. ;)

He did not just wink at me! 

Me: Naw, Nat I’m sure did that all on her own.

Steve: A lesson I thoroughly enjoyed.

Ha ha!! I knew it! 

Me: You sly dog! 

Steve: What can I say, I am a man.

I tossed my phone back up onto the bedside table. Too bad real life couldn’t be like texting. It’s so much easier to text than actually speak to people, how fucked up is that? It’s like I’ve lost all ability at social interaction. It’s pathetic! I hate what I’ve become! 

Before I completely slipped into another night of complete self-loathing, I changed into some boxers and a T-shirt and went to the book shelf in my living room. I skimmed my flesh fingers over the spines of the books lined there so perfectly. They landed on a worn copy of Pride and Prejudice that Steve got me for Christmas. It was a first edition and my favorite book. 

I pulled the book from the case and stretched out on my couch. Running my fingers over the cover a smile crept on my face. I couldn’t help but feel as if Miranda would approve of my current activity. I wonder if she’d ever read this particular book. Maybe one day...just maybe, I’ll get the nerve up to ask her.


	3. The Plan

Natasha

I looked up from the mat where I was stretching and saw Steve take a picture of Miranda. My eyes drifted over to the shy girl, surely he doesn’t like her. My curiosity finally got the better of me when I saw Steve blush. Well, this is new. When did he start blushing like that for anyone else other than me? I mean not that it took much to make him turn red, but still, it left me with more questions.

Pulling myself up from the mat I made my way toward my target. Agent Bowsman passed me and winked, his voice dripping with unpracticed flirtation, “Natasha.” Ugh! No thank you. I replied deadpan, “Agent.” Keep moving along soldier, you’re not my type. He mumbled under his breath as he walked away. I couldn’t help but grin. 

Steve looked up after putting his cellphone away in his gym bag, he saw me heading his way. He stood up and I almost wanted to laugh out loud at how cute he looks. Eyes going large, muscles clenching and that slight intake of breath he does when I get close to him. “Steve?” He swallowed before answering, “Tasha, I thought we were done. Did you want to go another round?” Oh how I would, but not in the ring.

“No, we’re done,” I didn’t miss the slight disappointment that crossed his features, “I was just curious. Why were you taking a covert picture of Agent Jones?” His eyes widened at being caught. “It’s not what you think.” I rose a sculpted eyebrow at him, “What exactly am I thinking? Do you want me to talk to her for you? She’s not really your type, but if you’re interested, I could put in a good word for you.”

He glanced over at Miranda then back at me, “What? No, it’s not like that..I mean she’s a nice dame and all, I mean girl, Agent..Woman!” God he’s cute when he stammers and can’t seem to find the right words. I just cocked a hip and crossed my arms, “Which one is it?” He groaned in frustration, “Woman, definitely woman. Dang it Tasha, don’t look at me like that!” I opened my mouth to speak and he interrupted, “And don’t say ‘How am I looking at you?’.” I cracked a smile at how well he knew me.

“Ok, so enlighten me then on how it really is.” He inhaled deeply and wrapped his large hand around my bicep and turned me away from Miranda and walked me toward the locker rooms. I suppressed a purr at how strong his grip was, it reminded me of when he had pushed me hard against the wall in DC, it was hot as hell. Not that I’d tell him that, because he’d never do it again.

He walked me into the locker room and let me go. “Look, I don’t like her, Bucky likes her.” His voice was low and trying to be quiet, leaning toward me so others wouldn’t hear. “He’s too scared to talk to her. He clams up. I was just teasing him with a picture of her.” Hmm interesting, Bucky and Miranda, they would actually make a really cute couple. I wonder why I never thought of that before. 

“Bucky? I thought he was quite the ladies man back in the day. You were the one who couldn’t talk to women.” He grinned, “Yeah, he was, it came so easy to him. All he had to do was look at a Dame and they would practically fall at his feet. He tried to help me back then, didn’t work, but he still tried. Besides, I still can’t talk to women.” My lips curled slowly into a smile, “You’re talking to me...I’m a woman aren’t I?”

His cheeks turned that lovely shade of pink, his eyes drifting down to my mouth as I purposefully licked my bottom lip to moisten it. “Yes, you are, but I’ve known you for quite a while and you’re a friend, it’s different.” That blush on your cheeks Captain says different, body language as well, but I’m not going to point that out. “We really need to work on your undercover skills. The way you took her picture was very obvious.” He lowered his head and laughed lightly, “Yeah, well there is that. Bucky did say it was creepy.”

“He’s not completely wrong. I think what made it more incriminating was the blush as you sent the picture. Are you sure there isn’t any underlying sexual tension there? She’s a friend, I can still set you two up.” He froze a second then started stammering again. “No! There isn’t any sexual tens..It wasn’t her I was..I wasn’t blushing ok! I was just hot from the workout that’s all.” 

I leaned against the locker and pulled my hands behind my back, purposefully making my chest more prominent. His eyes drifted down for a split second then shot back up to my eyes. “Mmmhmm, sure it was.” Bingo..blush! He coughed and straightened to his full height, realizing he was slightly leaning in toward me. “Stop it Natasha.” 

I slyly grinned up at him, “Stop what?” He crossed his arms over his chest making his biceps even more pronounced. “You know exactly what I mean. I’m not one of your targets that you are trying to seduce.” I let him watch as my eyes raked down his body then slowly back up. “Pity.” Pushing away from the locker I winked then walked toward the showers.

I had a brief moment of excitement when I heard his rushed footsteps toward me, grabbing my arm and turning me around. “Wait, I need a favor.” I rose an eyebrow and he shook his head with a grin, “You are relentless! No, I need a favor for Bucky. Tony’s having his annual New Years Eve party. You said you’re Miranda’s friend. Could you make sure she’s there? Maybe have her come as your plus one.” 

Both eyebrows rose this time, “So what if I already have a plus one?” His face fell slightly, “Oh, well, I didn’t know you had anyone that you’d..Uh..do you already have a plus one?” He really needs to give up the act that he’s not attracted to me, but it’s fun watching him squirm. “No.” He frowned in confusion, “Then why did you say you..you know what, never mind, I’ll just ask someone else.” 

I sighed when he turned to walk away. “I’ll do it.” He stopped and turned my way with a grin, “Really? You don’t mind?” I walked closer to him, “No not at all, anything for a friend..right? Although I am curious why you couldn’t just ask her to be your plus one. Already have a date?” He shook his head, “I doubt Bucky would appreciate his best friend asking the girl he likes out to a party. And no, I don’t have a date. Yet.”

I knew damn well he wouldn’t bring a date, he never does. Neither do I if you don’t count Clint. Besides, he’s married and that ship sailed many many years ago. I scanned his backside in his track pants as he walked out of the locker room. Damn you could bounce a penny off that ass. One of these days Cap, one day you’re going to cave. Thankfully I’m skilled at highly refined patience. 

After a relaxing shower I made my way over toward Miranda. How can she sit there for so long and just read? Girl needs a hobby, or perhaps something a little more warmer to keep her company. She never even looked up as I sat next to her, the book bag in between us. I leaned back against the wall and scanned down the page she was currently reading. She licked her finger and turned the page, “I wasn’t done reading that.”

She shrieked a bit and nearly jumped out of her skin, dropping her book in the process. “Oh my God! Nat! You scared me half to death!!” She quickly grabbed her book and thumbed through until she found her spot, dogearing the page. “That’s why they make bookmarks Randa.” She rolled her eyes at the nickname. “I always lose them, this is easier. When did you get back?” She’s kidding right? Oh, she’s not..alright then.

“Seriously? I’ve been here for over an hour. I was sparing with Steve less than fifty feet from you. Must be a really good book.” She looked embarrassed, “Opps, sorry. When I get into a good book, the rest of the world just melts away. I’m glad you’re back safe. Everything go as planned?” I nodded and wrapped my arms around my knees, “Everything went according to plan. Thanks for the Intel by the way. Those tunnels under the Power plant were a huge help. How did you even find the skematics? Those tunnels haven’t been used in maybe a hundred years.”

She pushed her book into her bag, “I read a book years ago about the city and it’s history. It talked about tunnels used many many years ago for the use of smuggling sex slaves in and out of the country to be sold as property. It took a little digging, but I found an old map that was in a museum in France. I hacked their security and downloaded the photos of it. Easy peasy.” I looked at her with actual respect for her skills. “Easy huh? You really should let me train you, you’d be one hell of a field agent. We could work together more often.”

She laughed nervously, “Oh I don’t know about that...being around all those people. It’s not really my thing.” I shrugged, “Nothing a bit of training wouldn’t help. You should at least think about it.” We both stood up and she groaned as she stretched, her bones cracking and popping. “How long have you been sitting here?” She laughed and pulled out her phone to check the time, “Over an hour at least.” 

We walked side by side through the gym, grabbing my bag along the way. “I have a question for you Randa. Will you be my plus one to Tony’s New Year’s Eve party?” Her face went red and she froze, “Uh..Well...I mean I like you Nat, but I don’t think that’s a good idea. You’re beautiful and all, but I don’t uh, you know, like girls...in that way.” Oh, it’s so cute, she thinks I’m asking her out. I looked her over briefly as she stammered out her denial of my supposed invitation. She’s hot, not that I wouldn’t want to if she were willing, but I have bigger fish to fry, so to speak.

“Randa, you’re hot and all, but I’m not hitting on you.” She blushes even redder, “Oh! You’re not?” I laughed and linked my arm with hers, “No, I’m not, you’d know if I were, because you wouldn’t be able to resist me.” She snorted, actually snorted, “Well, aren’t we confident.” She really is a delight to talk with. She should do it more often.

“Party..Yes or No?” We left the gym and I followed wherever she was heading. From the trajectory I’d say her quarters. “I don’t know Nat..a party? Me? I’m not good around a whole bunch of people.” We entered the lift heading down. “It’s not a lot. The Avengers of course and everyone is suppose to be bringing one guest. A few others that Tony knows. So not a ton of people. Not like his birthday when he invites the whole damn compound.”

“I don’t have anything to wear to one of those, it’s black tie, right?” I nodded, “Always, Tony likes to dress to impress at these things. We can go shopping, buy you a dress. Or you could borrow something of mine. We’re about the same height..measurements.” She glanced between her breasts and mine, “I guess, but wouldn’t you rather go with a date, you know, midnight kiss and all?”

“I’ve done the whole kiss at midnight thing, it’s not all that, I assure you.” She cocked a grin at me as she opened her quarters, allowing me inside. “Maybe you just haven’t found the right person to kiss.” I shrugged, even though I knew she was right. “You still haven’t answered my question.” She groaned and chewed on her lip, glancing at her bookcase as if it held all the answers.

“Bucky will be there.” I smirked at her and watched her blush. “He will? Well that’s nice....does he have a plus one going?” Subtle...not. “I think Steve is his plus one.” She frowned and seemed to wilt. “They aren’t a couple if that’s what you’re wondering.” Her eyes widened, “Oh, that’s not what I was thinking...please don’t tell them Nat, that’s so embarrassing!” I laughed and looked over her books, “You’re not the first one to think those two are a couple, I assure you. You should check out some fan fictions out on the internet..very steamy.”

She laughed nervously, “I’d rather not! Don’t want that stuck in my head forever..nope!” I grazed a manicured nail along the spines of the books, “Come on Randa, what have you got to lose? Who knows, you might actually have fun and make a few friends.” Turning, I leaned against the sturdy oak bookcase giving her a questioning look. She groaned and raked a hand down her face, “You’re not going to take no for an answer, are you?” The grin slid onto my face, “You know me so well.” 

With a deep sigh she plopped down onto her couch, “Fine, I’ll go! But you’re paying for a new dress...and shoes!” Pushing off the bookcase I strode confidently toward her door, looking over my shoulder at her as I left. “You’ve got a deal. Can’t have my date looking homely now can I?” With a wink I left. Pulling out my phone, I texted Steve.

Me: Looks like I have a date for New Years!

Steve: She said yes?

Me: Was there ever a doubt she’d say no to me?

Steve: I don’t think anyone you’d ask would say no.

Me: Would you have said yes if I’d asked you? ;)

There was a pause before he answered me.

Steve: I guess we’ll never know, will we? ;)

Did he just wink back at me? He did! Well, well, well...I think New Years just got a little more interesting.


	4. Being Alone

Miranda

True to her word, the next day after the invite, Nat took me shopping. I think I’ve tried on fifty dresses already! “Nat this is ridiculous! What was wrong with the last dress? It was pretty.” She rolled her eyes and handed me another dress. “It needs to be perfect. The others didn’t give me a Wow factor. Not try this one, the color goes great with your complexion and hair color.” 

I groaned in annoyance and a whole bunch of exhaustion. Who knew shopping could be so tiring! How do people do this all the time? That’s why I order online. Don’t have to leave the comfort of my bed. It’s quiet and peaceful and definitely not surrounded by all this noise and nerve grating laughter from teenagers in the local mall. “Fine.” I grabbed the dress and went back into the changing room.

I had to admit, the color was pretty. It was a dark burgundy color, like looking into a glass of Merlot. I cringed at how skimpy it was. “Stop thinking so much and try it on already.” I looked at the door of the changing room and stuck my tongue out at her. “Don’t make me come in there Randa.” Eep! “Alright! Sheesh, keep your panties on!” I nearly choked on my own tongue, “I would if I was wearing any.” I heard the gasp of a passing by male shopper and then Tasha in almost a purr, “Hey.” God she’s encouragable!

The dress hung to my every curves and made it impossible to wear a bra of any kind. It was halter style and the back was completely exposed. The edge coming just above my ass. It clung to my hips and rear then fanned out to a full skirt. The material felt like silk, I had to admit, Nat has great taste! 

I stepped out of the dressing room and Nat stood up, “Wow! This is definitely the one! In fact I saw a pair of heels that would go perfect with this dress!” I sighed and blew hair out of my eyes. “Thank God! I’m sick to death of shopping!” She shooed me back into changing room, but not before taking a picture with her phone. “What was that for?” Shrugging, she put the phone away. “Reference for the shoes, now come on, scoot, get changed, I’m starving.”

Nat didn’t buy a dress, she said she bought hers weeks ago. A deep red number that I knew for a fact would make her look amazing as always. After buying the shoes, which thankfully went fairly quickly, we went to eat at a local restaurant. Nat stirred her tea and kept watching me. “What? Is there something on my face?” 

Shaking her head she continued to look at me, “Why don’t you like being around people? Most of them aren’t too bad.” I knew this would eventually come up. “Can’t I just like peace and quiet?” Her eyebrow rose as she took a sip of her tea. “Peace and quiet is nice, every once in a while. Seriously though, why so shy?”

I pushed my salad around on my plate and chewed on my bottom lip. “It’s not easy growing up being the smart kid...and not just smart, like really smart. That’s when I discovered I had an eidetic memory. Everything I read or head I remembered. I was bullied a lot, well into high school. I skipped several grades and graduated when I was 13. High school is horrible! College wasn’t much better. Everyone was older than I was, too young to go to parties and drink. No one wanted to hang out with the freak kid. I got use to it, keeping to myself. It’s how I began my love of books. I could escape there, be someone different in every story.” 

She nodded along with me and let me finish. “Sounds lonely. Did you never have a good friend?” I set down my fork, the subject setting me off my food. “Just my mom. Dad left when I was a baby so I never knew him. She died when I was twenty, then I had no one. It was just easier I guess. Not talking to anyone. Good way not to get hurt.” 

“True, but also a very lonely existence. We should hang out together more often. I like you a lot Randa. I think if you give everyone a chance, especially the Avengers, you’ll find that they aren’t so bad. They appreciate your gifts, just like I do. We’re all a little weird, myself included. You’d fit right in.” She had a point. “Maybe I can...try.” With a salute of her glass she grinned wide, “Sounds like a solid plan.”

 

Natasha

It was well past 10pm by the time I dropped Miranda off at her quarters. I wasn’t quite ready yet to call it a night, so I headed up to the communal room to get a drink. All the talk about being lonely had my thoughts in a scramble. I needed to get my head on straight.

The room was in the process of being decorated for the party for tomorrow night. I grinned at the fully stocked bar. Just what I needed to help me relax. Mixing a strong drink and adding a few cubes of ice, I went to the large windows and looked out into the Compound grounds. The moonlight lit up the night sky, stars shining like a million diamonds.

“Drinking alone?” A smile slid across my lips, “There’s not many that could sneak up on me.” I turned and eyed Steve who stood just a few feet behind me, hands in his jean pockets and a blue button up rolled to the elbows. “Who said I was sneaking?” I tipped my glass toward him, “Want a drink?” I walked toward the bar, he followed behind me.

“So, Steve, what can I make you?” He leaned against the bar and shrugged, “Surprise me. I trust your judgement. Plus it’s not like I can get drunk.” I grinned and began to mix his drink. A few minutes later I handed him the glass. He looked in the glass and swirled it’s contents, even giving it a sniff before taking a test sip. He hummed his approval, “It’s good, what is it?”

I watched his reaction, “Sex on the Beach.” He choked a bit as he took another sip. “Really? What are you drinking?” A wicked grin spread across my lips, “A Screaming Orgasm.” His eyes widened a bit as he looked at me while I took a sip. “Is it good?” I gave a light laugh, “Oh yes, very good. Would you like to try some?” He laughed nervously and shook his head, “No thanks, I’ll just stick with this one.”

“So what’s got you here drinking alone in the dark?” I shrugged, “Went shopping with Miranda today. We had some girl talk, it got me thinking.” He looked as if he were waiting for me to finish. “She’s alone a lot. She doesn’t have any family, not many friends. It reminds me of...someone.” He gave me a crooked grin and sat down on a stool. “Sounds like almost all of us. I mean except for work, we all really don’t spend much time together.”

“Does that bother you? Being alone?” He hummed a bit in thought. “It does, sometimes. Not nearly as much as when I first woke up from the ice. It’s nice having Bucky around again.” I could feel his eyes on me. “What about you? Does it bother you?” I walked around the bar and leaned my back against it beside his stool. “It didn’t use to. I liked being by myself. Less people around means the less I have to be what they want or expect of me. Less people to hurt.”

It must be the booze that’s making me open up to Steve, it had to be. I did make it very strong. “Less people to lie to.” I looked at him and I could see how much he really understood. “Pitfalls of the job.” We spent a few moments just sipping our drinks. I turned when I felt his hand touch my bicep, “You know you don’t have to pretend around me, right?”

I searched his eyes and a part of me wanted to go back to that place in the locker room and try to make him blush. Try to get a response from him. Something in his gaze made me soften just a bit. “I know.” I downed the last of my drink and set it on the bar. Leaning in I felt him tense as I kissed his cheek. I couldn’t help but breath in the scent of his aftershave. He smelled good.

When I was halfway to the lift I stopped and looked back at him. He was watching me leave. “I don’t.” He looked confused at first. “Just so you know..I don’t pretend with you.” I knew it was a big deal telling him that. The flirting I’ve done...he knows it’s all me and not playing a game with him. He smiled, “Good night Natasha.” “Good night Steve.” I couldn’t hide my genuine smile as the lift doors closed behind me.


	5. Liquid Courage

Bucky

God I hate tuxedos! They’re hot and binding, especially in the shoulders. “Quit fidgeting, you look great.” I groaned as I fixed my bow tie. “I look like a damn penguin! An uncomfortable peguin!” Steve huffed out a laugh and pulled on his jacket. “It’s only for tonight, besides the ladies love a man in a tux.” 

“Oh really? You know this for a fact do you?” He nodded and straightened his own bow tie in a floor length mirror, even messing with his hair to make it look right. “I do, Tasha said so.” Well of course that just makes it all true. “So you believe everything she says?” He leaned back against my wall and shrugged, “Not everything, but the important stuff.”

I left my hair down, but brushed and styled back away from my face. The long hairs grown on me, no pun intended. Including the beard. I look very different from the way I use to be before Hydra. The clean cut boy who knew jack shit about the world was dead anyway. 

“Please tell me I’m not your plus one Steve, because if I am, I’m staying home.” He laughed and looked down at his watch, “Nope, sorry Pal, I have someone a bit cuter than you to fill that position.” I gave a half grin, “Natasha?” He frowned a bit, “What makes you think I’d be taking her?” Oh come on, really?? Does he think I’m blind as a bat?

“Steve, seriously, I have to say it? She flirts with you all the damn time. Everyone sees it.” He scoffed, “Nat flirts with everyone.” I shook my head at him and his total cluelessness. “True, but not like she does with you.” He still tried to brush it off. “She just likes to get a rise out of me, that’s all. She gets a sick pleasure at watching me blush.”

“Oh she’s definitely trying to get a rise out of you, just not the way you think. So if you’re not taking Natasha, then who are you taking? You never get dates to these things.” He shoved his hands in his pockets, a sure sign he’s nervous. “Grace from Logistics.” Oh he has got to be kidding me?!

“Grace? Seriously Steve? Grace, as in Grace that fawns over you like she’s starving to death and you’re a big ole piece of chocolate pie...that Grace?” He nodded yes. “Oh come on!! She’s going to hang on you like a cheap suit! You’ll be miserable!” He sighed and kicked at an invisible spot on my bedroom rug, “Yeah, well, it’s better than being alone again on New Years. It’s just one night, it’ll be fine. It’s not like she isn’t pretty.”

“Ok, I’ll give you that, she is hot, in a crazy ex girlfriend now stalker sort of way. Better take the shield Pal, you’re going to need it!” He just laughed and rolled his eyes. “It’ll be fine, speaking of which, I better go, I need to pick her up in like ten minutes. See you there Buck..and don’t be late.” Buttoning the jacket I nodded toward the wall clock, “Its four hours till Midnight, being a little late won’t matter much.”

Well, at least one good thing will come from this evening. Watching Steve stave off the advances of an overhormoned sex fiend. That alone will make this tux worth it. Well that and knowing that Thor will be bringing his Asgardian Ale and I’ll finally be able to get shitfaced. I could use a good numbing of the senses right about now. 

It was five minutes till 9pm...what a stupid time for a party. Oh well, I guess I better get this over with, otherwise Steve will hunt me down and drag me kicking and screaming. Well, he’d try anyway. With one final look in the mirror, I turned and walked out of my quarters toward the Communal Room.

The lift opened and I gawked at how amazing it looked. The whole room was spectacular! There was already a lot of people there. I saw Thor immediately, his tall presence not easily missed. Looks like the shitfacing will begin early tonight. He saw me approaching and grinned wide, waving me over. “Friend Barnes, it’s good to see you on the Eve of your New Year!” 

“Hey Big Guy.” He smacked me hard on my back which nearly knocked the wind out of me. “Where is Captain Rogers? Rarely do I see you two at one of Starks parties without the other nearby.” Well, he’s not wrong..in fact he’s dead on. The high anxiety I felt proof of that. I really wanted to just bail!

Thor poured me a drink with some of his Ale in it. “Go easy on this, or the evening will be over before it starts.” Well, that’s the plan. I left him in the midst of several women fawning over him. It’s been like that since news got out that He and Jane broke up. It’s like the dinner bell was rung and Thor is the Prime Rib.

I sat down at the end of the bar and turned to watch the room. Tony and Pepper were already dancing, Clint and his wife as well. A few others were doing the same and most were enjoying the bar. I hissed as the strong liquor went down my throat, burning in its wake, warming me from the inside out. Damn that is strong stuff!

“Don’t get drunk.” I nearly jumped out of my skin, “Dammit Natasha! Bout made me lose my drink!” She stood there in a beautiful red number that didn’t leave much to the imagination. “Well look at you, gorgeous as always.” She grinned and slid her hands down her sides and hips, “Oh this old number, it’s nothing...wait till you see Miranda, she looks amazing!” What?!? Did she just say Miranda?!?

“Wait, Miranda is here?? Where, where is she?” She didn’t even have to tell me...the crowd parted and there she stood. My eyes raked hungrily down her body. Dear sweet Mary Mother of God! She looked down right sinful! I knew my mouth was hung open as I gawked at her, I couldn’t help it! 

“You’re staring soldier.” I managed to tear my eyes off her and look at Natasha. “You brought her, didn’t you?” She nodded, “That I did. Steve asked me to. Speaking of Steve, where is he, you two are usually bound at the hip at these things.” Oh Geeze! “Not you too! I have got to quit hanging out with him so much, people are going to start thinking we’re a couple or something.”

“Oh sweety, that ships sailed. But it’s cute that you had no idea. Now point me toward tall, blonde, spangled and handsome then you can go drool over Randa to your hearts content.” She looked around the room not seeing him. “He’s picking up his date, he should be here any moment.” She froze but tried to play it off as if it were nothing. “Oh, well, good for him. It’s about time he put himself out there.”

She excused herself quickly, going straight behind the bar and scaring away the bartender as she started mixing herself a drink. Man, Steve needs to wake up! He has got to be fucking blind to not see how much she likes him. From the look of it, she’s got the same plan as I do tonight..well, it was my plan, until Miranda came in to view. 

With one final drink, I set my glass down, straightened my jacket and made my way across the room. Tonight was the night...maybe it was the liquid courage roaring through my veins, but I didn’t care. Because one way or another, that woman will be in my arms on the dance floor before the night was up. Hot damn I love Asgardian Ale!!


	6. Fear and Desire

Miranda 

Ok, just stay cool! It’s just a party, there will be people there you know..it’s fine, perfectly fine. I’ve been giving myself a pep talk since I woke up this morning. My anxiety hasn’t gone down in the slightest. If anything it’s increased the closer the time came to go. 

I looked at myself in the mirror and ran my hands down the silky material of the dress Natasha bought me. It was beautiful! The shoes were amazing! I felt like it belonged on someone else far more sophisticated than me. My eyes glanced over at the pair of sweatpants and hoodie resting at the foot of my bed. That’s more me...not this image in the mirror.

I felt too exposed as if almost naked. Well, technically I almost was considering how much of my back, neck and cleavage was showing. God what was I thinking agreeing to this?! I must have been out of my mind! What possessed me to think I could actually go through with this? 

I wanted to cry and throw up all at once. My nerves making my knees shake, palms sweat and heart race like I’ve drank way too much caffeine. Why can’t I be like a normal girl? I should be excited, right? I should be...but I wasn’t, I was scared half out of my mind.

My thoughts ran toward every word I’ve read about parties and small talk. I knew the words..I could recite them by heart, but how to put that into practice was very daunting. Or what would be worse, no one talks to me period. I think that scares me more than actually having to interact with people. I’m afraid I’ll show up, but be the wallflower that no one sees unless they trip and fall on their face. The one no one speaks of except to laugh at.

I turned quickly from the mirror and shook my hands out to rid them of the tingling settling in there, choking back a sob of mortification. Why?! Why does this have to be so hard? My mind was racing as I remembered every strong heroine I’ve read about and envisioned myself in their shoes. It’s so much easier to be that kind of person with no real threat of actually having to live up to it. 

My books were my safe place. I could do and say and be anyone I want. I could be the sultry debutant that has her way with any man she sets her eyes on. I could be the bad ass zombie killer that people are in awe of her skill and abilities. Instead of my small room, I could travel and go to foreign lands and meet all sorts of interesting people. All from the comfort of my bed or couch or wherever I decided to read. It was safe, sheltered and...and...fucking depressing as shit!

I can’t be like this forever. Maybe, just maybe I can do this. Just smile and be nice. Listen instead of talk, that way they don’t look at you like you’re some freak with a computer brain. Besides, I think I may be more afraid of what Natasha would do to me if I actually tried to get out of this. She’s the only friend I have, I don’t want to disappoint her...or get her angry. She’s scary when she’s mad.

The knock on my front door nearly made me pee the tiny scrap of material that’s suppose to be panties. More like butt floss, but whatever. “Come in!” I knew who it was anyway, she’s here exactly the time she said she’d be. Nat is very punctual. I heard the door open then close and the clicking of high heels on the hardwood floors of my living room. “Where are you kitten?” Oh Lord!

“I’m in here Nat!” She peeked her head in my bedroom door, “There you are..Wow, when I’m right, I’m very right. That dress looks amazing on you! You’re going to have Barnes eating out of your hand.” Yeah, as if! “I doubt that. But thank you for the compliment.” She laughed and reached out tucking a few strands of hair behind my ear, “You’re scared shitless aren’t you?”

“Yes! Oh my God yes! I think I may throw up, my stomach is in knots!” She shocked me by pulling me in for a hug, rubbing soothing circles into my back. “It’s ok to be scared. Fear keeps you awake and aware of your surroundings. Just don’t let it paralyze you. You’re stronger than your fears.” I sighed and hugged her tighter, “How do you do it Nat? How do you go out there and be so strong and amazing?”

She pulled back and gave me a smile I couldn’t place, it seemed strained and almost sad. “I only appear to be strong...that’s the key sweety. Fake it till you make it. Trust me, I have my own set of fears and insecurities, you’re not the only one. In fact you’d be amazed at how many people in that room we’re going to be in are just as nervous as you are. The difference..they’ve learned to hide it.”

I had a hard time believing what she was telling me. “Take Tony for example. He suffers from panic attacks and insomnia..he’s insecure about many things but he hides it with bravado and humor. Thor, he’s heartbroken over losing Jane and troubles in his family dinamic, but he hides it well with being loud and grandiose behavior.” It’s hard to imagine them as being anything than what they project.

“You never know what demons people fight in private. The key is not letting those demons win.” I chewed on my bottom lip as I thought over her words. “So, I’m not such a freak after all?” She sighed, “No, you’re not. You just need to work on getting past your fears. You’re among some pretty amazing people here. They are worth getting to know...and so are you.” 

I turned and looked at myself again in the mirror, turning sideways and looking at the expanse of my back. “This really is an amazing dress...I guess it would be a shame to not let everyone see it.” She smiled at me through the mirror, “That’a girl. Now come on, let’s go knock some men flat on their ass.” I couldn’t help but laugh nervously. Maybe, just maybe I can do this after all.

My heart was pounding in the lift and Nat took my hand squeezing it, to reassure me. “Take your time. Come out when you’re ready.” I couldn’t help it, but the words bubbles up out of my mouth anyway with a sly smile, “Going to go find Steve?” She cocked an eyebrow at me. “What makes you think I’ll be looking for him?” I shrugged, “Oh, nothing.” She squinted her eyes at me, “Mmhmm, I thought so.” I giggled as she practically strutted out of the lift. Man, Cap won’t know what hit him!

Taking a few deep breaths and giving myself one more final pep talk, I walked slowly out of the lift and into the busy room. Oh God! There is more people here than I thought there would be! It’s ok, I can do this! A couple walked past me and they both smiled at me and said hello. I swallowed the lump in my throat, “Hi, nice to see you.” Then they were off to the dance floor. Ok, that wasn’t too hard.

My eyes glanced around the room, recognizing most if not all the guests currently here. I froze, there in a tux that made him look sinfully delicious, was James Buchanan Barnes. Oh Jesus!! Is he walking toward me!! Oh fucking hell!! He is! Ok be cool, be cool!! Oh man..he is so pretty. I had to suppress a groan. 

He was walking toward me with such purpose, but then faltered and began to slow. His eyes darting around, fists clenching by his sides. I recognized the behavior immediately, he was nervous. Nervous?! About what? Surely not me? Right? Does he even know I exist? Well, I’m about to find out!

He slowly came to a stop before me and coughed a bit before he spoke. “Hi.” I stood looking at him as if this was a dream. He actually said hi to me! Oh right, I should say something back. “Hi.” Smooth, so very smooth Miranda. I shifted on my feet nervously. “Hi.” I couldn’t hold in the giggle, “You already said that.” He cracked a grin and his chuckle sounded like music to my ears.

“Uh, you look beautiful tonight. I..Uh..I mean not that you don’t look beautiful any other time that is...cuz you do.” Oh my! He just said I’m beautiful! “Thank you. Uh, you look beautiful too. Oh, I mean handsome, yes, you look very handsome. I like the tux. It suits you.” Suits you? Really? How corny is that. It was hard to gripe about what I said when it earned me one of the most gorgeous smiles I think I’ve ever seen.

“Really? You think so? It’s a bit stuffy and tight.” Tight..mmmhmm. “You ok?” Crap! “Yes, I’m fine. Just nervous I guess. These things kinda scare me to death.” Jesus, what do I have?? Word vomit?? Why would I tell him that? “Me too.” Wait, what?? “You’re scared too?” He laughed nervously and fiddled with his jacket buttons, “Yeah, I’m not too keen on crowds.” Huh, I guess we have more in common than I thought.

The more I stood there in his presence, the less nervous I felt. His blue green eyes were captivating. The way the skin beside them would wrinkle every time he smiled made my fingers itch to trace each and every line. “Can I get you a drink?” I looked over his shoulder to the bar and saw Nat making a drink. “Um, sure, that sounds great.” I wonder why Nat isn’t out looking for Steve.

I swallowed hard when he held his arm out for me to take. His metal arm. Sliding my arm through his, He seemed to almost get taller, his back straightening. I could feel the plates of his arm shift under my touch, even through the material of his dress shirt and jacket. I could even hear the faint sounds it was making. The smile on my face couldn’t be wiped off if I tried.

As we reached the bar Natasha looked up and winked at me. “What can I make you?” I gave a small laugh, “When did you become the bartender?” She shrugged and began to shake a drink then poured it into a glass. “We all have hidden talents. So, what will it be? A champagne? White wine? Or perhaps red to match that beautiful dress. What do you think Barnes?” 

I looked up at him and his eyes that had been looking down my body suddenly shot up at the mention of his name. My face heated up, so did his for that matter. “Yes, yes I think a merlot would be perfect.” His voice sent a shiver down my spine. Good Lord this man just oozes sex out of every pore! It should be illegal!

He took the glass offered by Nat, then handed it to me. Our fingers grazed each other and I felt sparks shoot up my arm. His fingers lingered on the glass along mine for a split second longer than needed. It nearly stole my breath away. I worried that he could hear my heart beating wildly in my chest. “Hold on, let me get mine.” 

He quickly went to the end of the bar and retrieved a tumbler of alcohol there. He hurried back with a large smile and eager steps. “A toast..to new friends, and a new year.” I smiled and clinked my glass to his, “I’ll drink to that.” We kept our eyes linked as we both took a drink from our glasses. He hissed a bit and licked his lips after taking a drink. “Wow that’s strong stuff!”

I must have had a question in my eyes because he laughed and pointed to Thor at the other end of the bar. “Asgardian Ale..the only stuff capable of intoxicating Steve and myself. Thor too I suppose.” Interesting. “Are you looking to get drunk?” He set his glass down, “I was, then you walked in. You in that dress have already set my head swimming.” Oh my goodness gracious! Swoon!

I didn’t even know how to respond. I’ve never had anyone to flirt with me so openly before. My cheeks felt on fire, the blush not being able to be contained. I gasped when his flesh hand grazed my cheek, thumb caressing the heated skin. “So unbelievably beautiful.” Funny thing was, I don’t think he was telling me.

My mouth went dry and my tongue slipped out to wet my parched lips. His eyes tacked the movement, his own tongue licking his, pulling his plush bottom lip into his mouth before raking his teeth across it. My heart fluttered in my chest, legs going weak. I wanted to kiss him...I wanted him to kiss me. 

The moment was broken when someone bumped into me. Thankfully I had previously put my glass on the bar. His arms shot out to catch me as I was pushed forward against his chest. I froze. I felt his warm lips against my forehead, arms wrapped around me, palms flat against my bare back. His scent flooded my senses...dear Lord he smelt like heaven. I had to resist rooting my nose into the crook of his neck and breathing in deeply the smell that was all Bucky. 

“You ok?” I reluctantly pulled back, his hands not removing from my back, “Yes, I’m good. Thank you for catching me.” One side of his mouth turned up, “You are very welcome.” I pulled back further and his hands slid from around me as if realizing how intimate of an embrace it truly was. I missed his touch immediately. 

“Dance with me?” His voice was almost a whisper. He reached down and took my hand in his, stroking his thumb across the top. “Dance with me...please?” I could only nod, my voice not trusted at that moment. My body moved on autopilot as he led me to the dance floor. My anxiety spiked as I remembered that I wasn’t a very good dancer.

“I..I c..can’t dance.” We came to a stop in the center of the dance floor. I couldn’t hide the slight gasp slipping from my lips as his flesh hand slid around my back and pulled me flush to his chest, metal one taking my right and pressing it to his chest above his heart. “I’ll teach you.” I could feel his voice rumble in his chest. 

He started to move and I followed, looking down at his feet, trying to match his steps. It was a slow song. His hand left mine and tilted my chin up. “Just let me lead you..look at me.” So I did. Closer and closer he coaxed me in, our bodies molding to the other like a potter’s clay. I could feel his heart beating a strong rhythm beneath my fingers as they clutched his lapel.

I stretched my left hand up around his neck, feeling his hair tickle the skin. I shuddered as his hand slid further down my back, pressing me even closer. I could stay like this, in this moment the rest of my life and be content. I felt warm and safe...and surprisingly very much at peace. No one else existed in the room. It was only this moment with him. It felt like a dream.

Bucky

I couldn’t keep my hands off of her. It was like a drug, one touch and I was hooked. When she was bumped into me, I had wrapped my arms around her protectively. She felt perfect in my arms. Her perfume making me suppress a moan of pleasure. Lips grazed her forehead but it wasn’t enough. My jaw clenched to prevent myself from burrowing my nose into the crook of her neck and tasting the nectar of her skin there. So soft and inviting. 

When she pulled away, I couldn’t leave it like that. My hand itched to have her there within the expanse of my arms. Dancing seemed like the perfect excuse. Now that I have her, I never wanted to let her go. Song after song we danced. It’s been so long since I’ve felt this..longing, desire, anticipation...deep and untamable lust. I take it back, I’ve never felt this before.


	7. White Russian

Steve

God what have I done to myself. Bucky was right, this woman was relentless! But being the polite person I was, I had to see this through till the end. She clung to me like she was part of my tux, making it a point to tell everyone she came with me. Like I was some prize to be won. Bucky was right...I’m miserable!

I finally made my way to the bar where I saw Tasha handing out drinks. Why in the world is she doing that? She should be out on the dance floor with someone’s arms wrapped around that sinful body having a good time. Yet she wasn’t. This intrigued me. I caught her attention and she smiled, though it didn’t quite reach her eyes.

She slinked down the bar toward me and my heart sped up as if being stalked by prey. “What can I get you soldier?” My date, which for a moment I had forgot was there, spoke first. “I’ll have a champagne, it is New Years after all.” I smiled weakly as Nat produced the drink and handed it over to her. “Grace, right? I’m glad you could come tonight.”

Grace preened and pushed her blonde hair over her shoulder, “I’m happy to be here. Steve brought me, didn’t you? He’s so sweet! Such a gentleman.” Tasha smiled...again her eyes said something different. “Yes he is. Well, I hope you two enjoy your evening.” Grace wrapped her arm around mine and I smiled uncomfortably. “Oh I plan to right Steve..there is that midnight kiss I’m looking forward to.”

God I wanted to crawl underneath the bar and hide. There was no way on Earth I was going to kiss this woman at midnight!! “Oh look!! It’s Thor..oh my God baby, I’m going to go say Hi, I’ll be right back.” I watched in relief as she practically skipped down the bar toward the unsuspecting Asgardian. I felt almost bad for him, but happy she was finally off my arm.

“Baby?” I looked up at Tasha. “Didn’t know you were seeing each other.” I shook my head, “I’m not, I mean we aren’t that is. I did ask her to come, but we aren’t together.” Why did I feel the need to explain this to her. Not like she really cares who I’m with. Right? “Why did you ask her?” That’s a million dollar question, one I’ve asked myself.

“I don’t really know...maybe just so I wouldn’t be alone again on New Years I guess. Though..” I looked at her practically hanging on Thor’s massive arm, “I’m starting to wish I was.” A drink slid in front of me and I looked up at her, “Another sex on the beach?” She shook her head, “No..It’s a White Russian, with a hint of Asgardian Ale to help dull your senses. Looks like you could use it.”

I made to thank her and she was gone, walking away and disappearing into the crowd of guests. I looked down at my drink, swirling the ice in the glass. Somehow her walking away hurt more than the nails of my date clinging to my bicep. My date..God I’m such a fucking idiot! The answer was right there in my damn hands. She told me what I needed and handed it right to me. I needed to find Tasha.

She was nowhere in sight, I walked the entire party, getting stopped by friends to talk occasionally as my eyes still scanned the guests for a hint of her red dress. I did see Bucky and Miranda however, which made me smile. He looked happy. They both did, just dancing, holding the other. It’s about time he manned up and took a chance at happiness. Maybe I need to do the same.

It was nearly midnight and I’d about given up hope of seeing Natasha again tonight. She had obviously left, not that I blamed her. Tony announced it was two minutes till midnight and panic set in my chest. I had to find her, before it was too late. “Jarvis! Where’s Natasha’s location?” ‘Ms. Romanov is currently on the roof.’ “Thanks Jarvis.” 

I spotted the side exit that led to the roof and made my way quickly through the crowd, hard to do when everyone was gathering on the dance floor to count down the seconds till midnight to get their kiss. Tony was at the mic and announced one minute till.. I needed to hurry!

I opened the door and ran up the stairs, taking several steps at a time, my heart pounding as I went. I burst through the roof door, the cool night’s breeze hitting me in the face. Thankfully the temperature had warmed slightly to a meager 40 degrees. My eyes scanned the roof and I saw her. Back to me, arms wrapped around her middle as she looked up, maybe waiting for the fireworks at midnight. 

I ran, full force toward her. She turned, face showing confusion, arms laying loose by her side. “Natasha!” She frowned, “Steve?” I slid to a stop before her. “Steve, what are you doing here?” The sound of erupting cheers below us rang out, the night sky lighting up with colorful sprays of pyrotechnics announcing the New Year. “Doing something I should have done a long time ago.”

I reached out and pulled her by the waist with both hands against my chest as my lips descended upon hers. I put everything I had into that one kiss. My heart slammed against my ribs as she wrapped her arms around my neck and slanted her lips against my own, deepening it with a flick of her tongue against my bottom lip. 

It blew the first kiss she’d given me on the escalator out of the water. My body lit up like a flame, the need to touch her almost consuming me. I raked my hands down her back, desire spiking as she arched into me and literally purred against my lips. I knew right then and there I was done for, but couldn’t bring myself to care, as long as her lips stayed on mine.

Slowly we pulled apart and I looked at her with hooded eyes, lips swollen from our kiss, cheeks flushed and a smile, a genuine one that lit up her eyes like the night sky. “Happy New Year Natasha.” She cupped my cheek and scanned my face before answering, “Happy New Year Steve.” She grabbed my lapel and pulled me into another kiss, one that curled my toes and whispered of wonderful things to come.


	8. Slowly

Miranda

The evening couldn’t have gone any better. Bucky and I spent the majority of the time dancing off and on between talking. We could care less who else was there. As far as we were concerned, it was just me and him. Nothing else mattered. 

I wasn’t concerned any longer about the crowd of people around me or how nervous I was. Knowing Bucky was just as nervous as I was, strangely enough eased my own fear. How weird is that?! 

“Are you having a good time?” The music swirled around us but it was Bucky’s hand resting on my low back, his thumb rubbing the edge of my dress just above my rear, that held my attention. “Yes, absolutely. You?” He leaned in and placed his nose at the crook of my neck and inhaled deeply, sliding his nose up my neck to just behind my left ear. Shivers wracked my body. “I’m having a wonderful time.”

We sat down on a large white couch and talked for what seemed like hours. Before we knew it, it was almost midnight. He leaned in and took my hand in his, “Please tell me that you’ll dance with me just one more time before midnight, and all these fools turn back in to pumpkins.” I tried to suppress a giggle, “Does that make me a pumpkin?”

His grin widened and he leaned in just a tad closer, “Oh no Doll, not you, never you.” His eyes drifted down to my lips briefly, “Dance with me.” It wasn’t a question, not that I would have said no anyway. “Ok.” He stood up off the couch but shifted his shoulders and grumbled under his breath. “Ugh! This jacket is the worst! I can barely move.” 

I watched him as he removed his tuxedo jacket. It seemed to move in slow motion. First came the jacket, then the sleeves were rolled up to his elbows. My eyes landed on his metal arm and it surprised me how much it actually turned me on. Does that make me a weirdo? Surely I’m drunk or something...though I’ve only had maybe two drinks all night.

He saw my eyes drift to his arm and he froze. He looked down and his face reddened, quickly rolling his sleeve back down. “Bucky?” It was like watching a whole new person take over. He went from smiling and flirting to closed off. “I’m..I need some air.” He quickly turned and walked away from me. I stood and watched him go. What did I do wrong?!

He walked through the crowd starting to gather in the middle of the dance floor and headed out onto the huge balcony. I must have done something horribly wrong! The thought of doing anything to hurt him made me feel sick to my stomach. Did I come on too strong? Maybe he thinks I’m loose or something. Great! Just great! I had to fix this! 

Picking up my dress I rushed across the room to try and catch up with Bucky. If I’ve hurt him, I need him to know it wasn’t on purpose. I went on to the balcony and several people rushed past me to get away from Bucky who looked ready to murder anyone in his path. Oh God, I’ve really fucked up! But how?? All I did was look at his...oh..OH, I know what’s wrong.

I walked slowly up to him. He was looking over the edge of the balcony and into the field beyond the compound. I could see the workers out on the lawn getting ready to set off the fireworks for midnight. “Bucky?” My voice was low so I wouldn’t sound threatening in any way. “What do you want?” He sounded...sad. God help me!!

“Please look at me. Please Bucky, I didn’t mean anything by it.” He turned and leaned against the railing. “Mean anything by what?” I knew he was trying to not sound hurt. I took a deep breath and stepped up close to him. “I wasn’t judging you.” He tried to turn away from me. “It’s ok, nothing everyone else doesn’t think about me anyway, what difference does it make for one more..” 

No! This is not how the story ends! It isn’t! I won’t let it! “I was staring at your arm because it turned me on and it’s sexy as hell!!” I spilled it from my mouth like word vomit. I said it so fast I was afraid I’d have to repeat it, and I wasn’t sure I had the guts to do that. I cringed when he didn’t say anything in return. I could feel the tears start to well up behind my eyes. “I’m sorry..I never meant to hurt you. I really like you. I..I’ll leave you alone.”

I turned to walk away but a hand around my arm stopped me. Bucky pulled me back to him, making me press up against his chest. My heart wanted to burst. His hands wrapped around my biceps, squeezing lightly, “Don’t leave.” Our eyes locked and I felt myself being pulled in like a magnet. 

His left hand slid down my arm and took my hand in his. Silently he pulled me inside and onto the dance floor. A slow song was playing and I soon found myself pressed against his chest as he led me in the dance. I closed my eyes as he tucked my head under his chin, hand cupping mine on his chest. His heart felt like a freight train under my fingers. 

Tony announced it was two minutes till midnight and slowly Bucky came to a stop, but not letting me go. “I like you too.” I pulled my head up from his chest, “You do?” He smiled and cupped my cheek, stroking the skin there. “I’ve liked you since the moment I saw you a year ago.” I couldn’t believe what I was hearing. All this time! 

“You never said anything, why?” He sighed and traced my bottom lip with his metal thumb. “Fear, stupidity...mostly just afraid you’d see me as some kind of freak or monster.” Never! I’d never think that way of him! “I couldn’t. Bucky I could never think that way about you. I was worried you would think I’m a freak. No one likes a super nerd who always has her nose in a book.”

I tried to look down and away from his eyes. He wouldn’t let me, cupping my cheek to make me look at him. “We’re quite a pair aren’t we?” I heard the countdown begin for midnight. “Yeah I guess we are.” His flesh hand slid to my back and pulled me closer, his metal one cupped my cheek and tilted my head up. “Oh I so hope so.” The room erupted in cheers and confetti and balloons fell from the ceiling. 

“Happy New Year Miranda.” Sliding my arms around his neck, I corded my fingers through his hair at the back of his neck. “Happy New Year Bucky.” He leaned down and pressed his lips to mine. It was as if lighting struck me, my body hummed to life for the first time. I could feel his groan against my lips as he tilted his head and deepened the kiss. 

I’m not sure how long we stood there just kissing. I do know when everything shifted. A gasp escaped my throat as his hands palmed my rear and pulled me hard against him. His erection was unmistakable. My head was swimming and I felt lightheaded with desire. His lips skimmed down my cheek until he reached my ear. “I want you.” My legs nearly gave out. 

I’ve read many romance novels and tried to imagine a moment like this happening, but it didn’t even compare. He stood there with eyes hooded with lust, “Come home with me.” I couldn’t even speak, so all I did was nod and bite my lower lip. His face nearly exploded with happiness. He took my hand and turned, pulling me from the room and into the lift.

I was immediately pressed against the lift wall, hands in my hair and mouth attacking mine with such passion. Within seconds I was being lifted bridal style and marched out of the lift toward Bucky’s quarters. My heart was racing! I couldn’t believe this was really happening! Never in a million years did I ever believe that tonight would end up this way. I wasn’t prepared...oh God I really wasn’t prepared for this!!

His door slammed behind us and my heart slammed into my chest. “Bucky...wait.” He had just made it to his bedroom door when he came to a stop. He saw the fear on my face. It was like a bucket of cold water was poured all over him. I was put down slowly and that’s when I was able to truly feel how much I was shaking. “Are you ok?” No, I wasn’t!

I quickly turned away from him so he wouldn’t see me tremble and try not to cry. I was right, I am a freak! I cupped a hand over my mouth to hold in a sob. I wanted to run and hide, just so he wouldn’t see me like this. “Miranda?” I squeezed my eyes shut and wanted to scream when I felt tears fall down my cheeks. I croaked out, “I’m sorry...I’m so sorry.”

He was in front of me immediately, eyes full of concern. “Miranda, you don’t have to be sorry. If you don’t want to have...if you don’t want to be with me, it’s ok. I don’t want to pressure you into anything. Please, please don’t cry.” I quickly wiped at my eyes and just wanted to curl in on myself. “God I’m such a freak!” His face fell, “No, baby no, you’re not a freak..never!” His arms wrapped around me and pulled me to his chest.

He stood there and held me, rubbing soothing circles into my back. Finally my anxiety started to lessen and I was able to pull back from him. I was beyond embarrassed. He coaxed me into the living room and set me down on the couch, sitting across from on the coffee table. “It was an anxiety attack wasn’t it?” My eyes shot to his, “Ho..How did you know?”

He smiled and took my hand in his, stroking it gently. “They are an old friend of mine. That and horrific nightmares. Did I do something..inappropriate? Was I too forward?” I shook my head, “No, Bucky, you didn’t. You did everything right. I wanted you..I did, I mean I do. You have no idea. But it was happening so fast and I’m not use to this or anything close to this before.” His eyes widened a bit as he picked up on what I was saying.

“You’re a virgin.” God I felt so mortified! All I could do was blush and nod, looking away from him. “Books never really prepare you for the real thing. It’s so much more.. well, more of everything. You are so much more.” He lowered his head to catch my eye. “I won’t lie to you Miranda. I want you like I’ve never wanted anyone before. But if you’re not ready, then neither am I.” 

How can he be so wonderful about this? “I thought men usually hate it when a woman says no.” He laughed lightly, “I can’t speak for all men, only for myself. Yeah, I’m disappointed, but only because you make me feel things I’ve never felt before. But I’ll wait however long you need me to. Just to be able to call you mine.” My heart felt like it flip flopped in my chest. Truly he can’t be real.

“Make love to me.” His eyebrows shot up and his eyes widened, “What? But I thought..you just had a panic attack. Are you sure?” I reached out and cupped his cheek, stroking my fingers through his beard. “I’m sure about you. Just..go slow. I need slow tonight.” His eyes lit up like Christmas. “Oh baby, I can so go slow.”

True to his word we made out on the couch for what seemed like hours. Slowly his lips caressed mine like he was trying to memorize every sigh and how it was caused. The moment shifted as I was moved onto his lap, dress pushed up my legs and hips as I straddled his thick thighs. A low groan, almost a growl rolled out of his chest as I settled over his groin. Oh Jesus, Mary and Joseph, he was so damn hard!

My hands skimmed through his beard and then into his hair, tugging lightly. The result was him gripping my hips and pulling me harder against his growing need, along with a low lust filled moan. Oh my, Bucky likes his hair pulled...interesting. Information stored away into my brain, along with a hundred other facts about what makes Bucky feel good. 

I slowly brought my lips to his again, our tongues taking turns exploring the others mouths. His teeth scraped my lower lip and a jolt of pleasure shot through my body. It made my hips grind down upon him, which in turn made him hiss and dig his fingers more into the flesh of my rear. Before we knew it, we had set up a rhythm. Me grinding down on him and his hands guiding me, hips pressing up into mine.

I shivered as my dress was suddenly pushed all the way up to my waist. His mouth pulled from mine as his hands found my naked ass below his palms. He moaned and pressed his face into my neck, “Oh God, Baby...you’re not wearing panties??” I giggled then moaned as his teeth grazed the neck. “I am..if you want to call it that.” 

I guess he took my statement as an excuse to see for himself. I shivered as his flesh hand slid around my hip, under my dress and indeed found the edge of my thong. He watched my reaction as his hand slid to the front, his thumb brushing lightly against the front panel, grazing my aching bud that nearly made me buck up off his lap. “Oh Doll, is all this for me?” His thumb skimmed lower and I nodded as he felt how incredibly wet I was, soaking through the tiny slip of fabric.

Something inside him shifted, mouth latching on to mine, hands returning to my ass and picked up the speed at which I was gliding across his crotch. My pleasure spiked as I rubbed against him so deliciously. I was panting and clinging to him tightly. Pressure began to build in my pelvis making me keen weakly into his mouth. “That’s it baby, come apart for me. I want to see you.”

His voice was so sultry and low making me grind harder down upon him. His left hand left my ass and skimmed up my back. I was so lost in pleasure I never even felt him undo the tie behind my neck. It wasn’t until I felt his lips wrap around a hard nipple that made me shoot off like a rocket. He held me tight as I came, calling out his name between half moans and screams. 

I slumped against him and he grinned against the skin of my neck. “So god damn beautiful. I can’t wait to see you do that with me inside you.” Oh Jesus!! I shivered and he laughed lightly before swiping his tongue over my pulse point. “That...that was...wow, just..yeah, wow!” He laughed more and pressed a gentle kiss to my cheek. “I’ll take that as a compliment, though I didn’t do that much.”

I shifted in his lap and he hissed, throwing his head back into the sofa. I grinned and slid my hand down his chest and abs, landing over his hardness. His hand shot to mine holding it still. “Baby it’s not that I don’t want you to, but if you touch me like that right now, I’m going to ruin this tux.” I blushed at his admission, though thoroughly enjoyed knowing I affected him so much.

“Do you want to move this to the bedroom? If not we can just stay here a bit longer.” I was nervous but not nearly as scared as I was when we first came to his quarters. “We can go to the bedroom. We’re still going to go slow right?” He nuzzled my neck, placing kiss after kiss along a path to my cheek. “I’ll go as slow as you want baby. It may kill me, but I’ll do it.” What did I ever do to deserve this man?

“Hold on to me.” I wrapped my arms around his neck. I giggled as he stood up from the sofa, wrapping my legs around his waist, hands still on my bare rear under my dress. Once we reached his room I was slowly put down onto my feet. My shoes had long since been kicked off. 

“May I?” I motioned toward his shirt. His grin widened with a smirk, “You want to undress me Doll? Go right ahead, I’m not going to stop you.” He held out his arms to the side. I started with removing his bow tie. He sighed, “Thank God, that thing is the devil!” It made me giggle. Then came the buttons on his white dress shirt. One button at a time and his yummy abs and chest was revealed. “Oh my.”

He winked at me, “Like what you see?” I stared at his body, nodding Yes and mouthing ‘Wow’, which just didn’t seem to be enough. I reached out my hands to touch him and jerked back. “It’s ok baby, you can touch me. Please touch me.” His eyes were deep hooded pools of lust. 

I started at his wrists and slowly stroked up his arms, over his shoulders, then finally down his chest and abs. I stopped as my fingertips were halted by his pants. Just as slowly, I removed his pants, socks and shoes until he stood before me in only a pair of black boxer briefs. My eyes were practically bulging out of my head as I saw his straining erection against the cloth. Oh God! I may spontaneously combust!!

“My turn.” I looked up into his eyes and gave my own smirk, “Not much left to take off.” I looked down at my exposed breasts and blushed from being so exposed. “Oh baby, there’s plenty left to see.” He came so close, my breast rubbing against his chest making my eyes flutter almost closed. With hooded eyes, I watched as he slowly removed my dress.

He chewed on his bottom lip as he looked me over in just my thong. “Oh Miranda, Miranda, Miranda...you are so God damned beautiful! Come’ere.” He crooked his finger at me. His lips tasted mine again, backing me up to the bed and slowly laying me down. He spent a long time worshipping my body with his lips, hands and tongue.

When he finally removed my panties he did the same there, memorizing every dip and curve, tasting me and making me writhe beneath him. “Bucky! Please!!” He looked up from between my legs, my arousal glistening on his lips and beard. “I know what you need baby...I got you.” I nearly arched completely off the bed as I felt his thumb start to stroke around my opening, returning to my clit and sucking it into his mouth, flicking it fast with his tongue. 

“Oh! Oh!! Bucky!! Oh God, dont st..stop!!” My orgasm hit and I practically pulled him bald headed as I rode my high. As I lay panting and sweaty, he wiped his face on the bed sheet and crawled up my body. “Watching you cum may be my favorite pastime.” I laughed then gasped as I felt his hard cock slide against my inner thigh. Not sure how he did it, but at some point during him eating me out, he managed to remove his boxer briefs. 

When he kissed me again, I could taste my own arousal on his lips. It made me moan into the kiss and arch against him. I felt him settle in between my thighs and my heart wanted to explode with anticipation. Two orgasms and I was beyond ready to have him inside me..pain or not, I needed him now!

“Bucky, please, I need you.” My breath stuttered in my throat as he slid his length through my dipping wet cunt. “I need you too baby..God so much.” He slid through my folds several more times, spreading my arousal all over his cock. Then he was right there with a tilt of his hips...then he stopped. “Fuck! Fuuuuck!! God Damn Fucking Hell!!!” 

I looked up at him, wondering why he was so upset. He almost looked to be in pain. “Bucky? What’s wrong?” He lowered his forehead to my chest and growled in frustration, “Dammit, Miranda, I don’t have any fucking condoms! Shit! Shit! Shit!” I began to laugh, he looked at me very confused.

“Why are you laughing right now? I’m literally sitting at the pearly gates of heaven knocking to come in and St. Peter just fucking cock blocked me.” I tilted my hips and the fat head of his cock barely entered me. “Jesus Fuck! Baby don’t move!” I cupped his cheek, “Bucky it’s ok, I’m on birth control. You don’t need a condom, I trust you.” His eyes widened and his frown turned into one hell of a smile. “Oh thank God!!”

He pressed a bit further inside me until he was met with a barrier. He stopped moving all together. “Look at me Miranda. Keep your eyes on me. Are you sure about this, I can always stop.” I shook my head, “No I’m sure, very sure.” With one final nod, he bit his lip, pulled my leg up onto his hip and thrust inside me.

I cried out and dug my nails deep in his back. Oh fuck that hurt! Man the books didn’t exaggerate that part!! I felt tears slip down my temples and disappear into my hair. He kissed both trails then my cheeks and finally my lips. Slowly he rocked into me until he was finally fully sheathed. When I opened my eyes, his were practically rolling in the back of his head. “You feel so damn good. So hot and wet and so fucking tight! Jesus!! Give me a minute or this will be over way too soon!”

I was beyond ready for more, yet he remained still. I clenched around him and he shuddered, moaning my name, making it sound sinful. He pulled slowly almost all the way out and thrust back inside. He hit a spot inside me that sent jolts of pleasure through my entire core. “Oh!!” His eye popped open, staring down at me. He thrust again just a little harder, same result. “Oh God!!” 

He kept the pace slow and it was killing me...I may actually die a slow and pleasurable death! I regretted telling him to go slow. From the sweat on his brow, the way his arms were shaking and jaw clenching...slow was the last thing he wanted right now. “Bucky, please...harder, faster! Please I need it!!” 

His eyes shot open and a deep growl left his throat as he crashed his lips to mine and his hips began to piston into mine. My legs wrapped around his waist, nails raking down his back. The sound of slapping skin was almost as loud as our moans of pleasure. I felt him begin to swell inside me. “Oh Fuck! Fuck baby! Please...shit!!!”

He slammed hard inside me and began to cum. His release set off my own. I spasmed around his cock and felt his hot sperm coat my inner walls. For quite a while he just continued to thrust slowly inside me, lengthening both our pleasure until it became too much for him and he had to pull out. 

He rolled over and pulled me right along with him. Tucking me under his chin and into his side. My eyes began to droop as his metal hand slowly rubbed circles into my back and hip. It wasn’t long before we both fell asleep in each other’s arms.


	9. Unexpected

Natasha

His lips were warm and soft, he tasted faintly of the White Russian I made him downstairs along with a hint of champagne. He’s improved since the last time my lips met his. I couldn’t help the smile that crept onto my face as I remembered his claim that you didn’t need practice for kissing. 

He apparently felt my smile because he pulled back, arms still securely wrapped around me. “What’s the smile for?” He had a hint of one himself. “You’ve been practicing haven’t you?” He shook his head, “I told you, you don’t need practice.” I played with the hair at the back of his head. “And I told you, everyone needs practice.”

“Does this count?” His eyes went to my lips as I licked them. “Depends.” His expression was one I knew well. It said he’s waiting for me to elaborate. When I didn’t answer..on purpose, he sighed and rolled his eyes, “On?” I pulled my hands down across his shoulder and on to his lapel. He really did look exceptionally good in this tux. “On whether or not you plan on going back downstairs to your...date.”

He groaned, “Oh, her.” My eyebrows arched slightly at the sound of his displeasure. “Yes, her. The one you left to come to me for your New Year's kiss. Not that I’m complaining, because it was a very good kiss.” My fingers slid to the buttons on the jacket and one by one I began to undo them. “Last I saw her she was still hanging onto Thor’s every word. I have a hard time being upset about it.”

The jacket parted, “Of all the people you could have come with, I have to say, I’m disappointed in your choice.” He laughed, “Yeah, not my best moment.” My hands slid inside the jacket and laid gently along his sides. I could feel him tense, muscles clenching under my light touch. “I should have asked you.” My hands stilled, I looked up into his face and found true sincerity. He meant it.

“That’s assuming I would have said yes.” He pressed me slightly closer, my hands sliding to his strong back below his jacket. The chill in the air, considering the thin material of my current dress, had me seeking out his warmth. He radiates heat like an oven. I looked up again, the heat wasn’t just in his body, I saw it there in his eyes as well. “You would have said yes.”

I laughed lightly at his presumption, “What makes you so sure?” His left hand went to my neck, making me tilt my head back as the other pressed me against his chest. “Stop it.” His grip tightened in my hair, tiny jolts of desire swept down my body. “Stop pretending this wasn’t always going to happen. That you don't want this to happen.” His voice had deepened and I had to admit the sound did wonderful things to me.

“I told you Steve, I don’t pretend with you. Don’t mistake my teasing as insincerity.” His eyes searched mine briefly before bringing his lips back to mine. It was slow at first, his lips caressing mine in a way that held such gentle care. His warm tongue slid along my upper lip, seeking permission for entrance...I gave it. The moment he deepened the kiss, a groan left him, vibrating his body beneath my hands.

I felt his heart pounding and knew mine was no different. I’ve kissed plenty of people, some targets..OK a lot were targets, but no one made me feel the things I did now. I should stop this, make him go home, find someone else to have him make those delicious sounds for. But I couldn’t help but be selfish. I needed to admit to myself that Steve was right, this was always going to happen. Why stop it now?

There has always been a sexual tension between us. I thought his inexperience was cute and loved to see him blush. I envied him in a way, how everything is so new, yet his inner strength was such an attractive drug, almost impossible not to want to be in his presence. But this, having him press against me, hands roaming my back, tangling in my hair, it was beyond anything I could have imagined.

I wanted him, simple as that. It was a sobering thought. Not just to feel his gorgeous body and every perfect muscle on him, but I wanted everything. I wanted his touch on me, his lips, his desire. I wanted everything of his...including his heart. I’ve never wanted that before and it shocked me down to my core. I didn’t just want sex, though, yeah I definitely did, but I wanted his adoration, his trust, his, dare I say it? Love?

The realization made me shiver in his arms, making him hold me just a tad tighter. It should feel wrong to want him so badly. He deserves to be with someone so much more..well, someone other than myself that's for sure. Not that I think so little of myself, because I don't, but because he needs to be with someone just as pure as he is. I was far from it. The things I've done, even while working for the good guys, would never have been on Steve's radar. Perhaps that's the drawl for him, that I'm not as Lilly white as the Winter's first fallen snow.

I gasped in surprise as my back was suddenly pressed against the nearest wall. I had been so consumed by my thoughts and the feel of his lips and hands that I never felt him moving me. His hot body pressed flush with my own and I moaned against his mouth as I felt his very evident 'need'. The kiss heated more, our tongues fighting for dominance in the kiss. As good as this felt, I wanted more, I needed him to do more. From the looks of how he's purposefully keeping his hands above my waist, I think a push was in order to make things hurry along. 

I grabbed his hands and pushed them down to my rear, squeezing his hands, coaxing him to touch me like I knew he wanted. Apparently that's all I needed to do, give my consent, because the moment my hands left his and re-tangled in his hair, he moaned and palmed my ass, pushing me into his erection. Everything shifted in that one moment. Before I knew it Steve had pushed one large hand into the slit on my dress on my left leg and palmed the skin there before pulling my leg up over his hip. I threw my head back, breaking our kiss as he pushed me hard into the wall. "о мой Бог!!" (Oh my God!!) 

Desire spiked as he left open mouth kisses down my neck and began to suck on my pulse point. Too slow...way too slow!! I growled and fisted his hair, yanking his head up off my neck and pulled my right leg up to wrap around his waist. There was a loud sound of my dress ripping in the process. "Your dress.." I pulled my face to his ear, "Fuck the dress!" I felt him groan and slide both his hands up my thighs to cup my bare ass. I wasn't wearing any panties. His body shuddered...and not from the cold. "Dammit Tasha! You're killing me!"

I couldn't suppress the giggle, "Language Captain." He rolled his eyes before pulling me away from the wall and began walking toward the fire escape he came out of. Thankfully the stairwell was a bit warmer than out on the roof. We didn't get far inside before I uncurled myself from his body and pushed him hard against the wall, returning the favor. His wicked grin told me he was very much enjoying himself.

I attacked his lips with a punishing kiss only to be again turned and slammed hard against the same wall, he didn't hold back his strength..he knew I could take anything he dished out. His eyes glinted with mischief...Oh is that how we're going to do this, alright them...so be it!! I pushed my hands inside the tuxedo jacket and forced it off his shoulders, feeling it fall off and land on the stairs. Then came his shirt, that wasn't so gentle. Buttons flew in all directions as I ripped it open in the front, greedily licking up his chest and biting him hard just above a pert nipple. "OW!"

He grabbed my hair at the back of my head and yanked it back away from his chest. "Stop! No biting!" I bit my lip and looked into his hungry eyes, they told a different story. "Make me." He forcibly turned me around and shoved me into the cold concrete wall, hands gripping the railing. Our heated and panting breaths echoed in the stairwell, sounding loud to even my ears. He yanked my head to the side and practically growled in my ear. "I'll do more than that."

He attacked my neck with his mouth, kissing, licking and ...OH GOD...Biting into the soft flesh of my neck and down the expanse of my back. I pressed my ass into his crotch, grinding back against him as he pushed into me. His hand released my hair and both sets of hands went to my dress, pulling up the long skirt until it was bunched at my waist. Oh fucking Hell!! Is he going to do what I hope he's going to do?? With one hand holding my waist and dress, the other disappeared...my heart slammed into my chest causing me to groan as I heard his zipper go down on his pants. Yes!! Oh God Yes!!

I tried to turn around so I could see him, but he wasn't having it, shoving me harder against the wall. It was exquisitely erotic to have him manhandle me, adding to my pleasure ten fold. He pressed his front to my back and pulled my hands from the railing and made me put them on the wall in front of me. He grabbed my leg and put it up onto the top step, opening me up to him. Shamelessly I moaned and called his name as I felt him stroke my sopping wet cunt, testing to see how ready I really was for him. "Dammit Steve I was ready the moment you threw open the God Damn roof's door! Just Fuck me already!"

He again yanked my hair making my neck arch back, his mouth brushing my ear, "Then I'd advise you to hold on to something." Oh Jesus!! He lined his cock up and thrust hard up in to me. I cried out and scraped my nails into the cement, probably ruining my manicure. His right hand grabbed my breast through the silky dress, his other was digging painfully into my left hip, using it as leverage as he thrust repeatedly into my heat. 

I knew Steve was large, I've spared with him enough times with him in his sweats and track pants to feel that for myself on occasion. But to have it inside me had to be the best damn thing I have felt in a long time. A thrill ran through me than anyone could enter that stairwell and catch us in the act, making it that much more exciting. The sounds he was making behind me was enough to set me on fire. I had to remind myself that this was Steve..Steve Rogers, America's golden boy..who was currently fucking the living sense right out of me!

I could feel myself climbing that peak of ecstasy, pushing back harder with each of his thrusts. He panted in my ear, my name a chant on his tongue. "Cum for me Natalia." Him calling me by my given name, the sultry sound of his passion filled voice sent me over the edge. I came hard, knees buckling as I did so. He wrapped both arms around my middle and picked up the pace of his thrusts. He came hard, if not harder than I did, head burying into my hair, knees shaking...he had to release one hand from around me to grip the railing to hold himself up.

Our rapid and heavy breathing was the only sounds left in the stairwell. I couldn't believe Steve had fucked me the way he did. Shocked was more like it! Never in a million years did I see this coming and if someone had told me it would, I would have called them a fat liar. I hummed as he gently kissed the skin of my shoulder where my strap of my dress had fallen. "Are you OK?" There's the gentle Steve I knew, "I've never been better, though we may want to take this somewhere a little more private if you want to continue." I clenched around his still hard cock and he groaned against my back. "Best idea all damn day." I laughed, "No, I think it was the White Russian." We both laughed.


	10. Buttons

Bucky

It was Noon before I drug my ass out of my quarters and made my way to the Communal room to see who may be up moving around. Though tired, I couldn’t hide the perpetual smile on my face. Miranda spent the night in my quarters. Not that there was much sleeping going on.

I was surprised to see the entire space cleaned and put back to how it was before the party last night. The smell of freshly brewed coffee hit my nose. I tilted my head up and inhaled the heavenly scent. Steve was sitting in an arm chair reading the newspaper, cup of coffee already in hand. “Mornin’ Steve.” His head appeared over the paper and gave me a huge smile. “It’s afternoon Buck. Good night?”

I winked at him and grabbed a mug from the cupboard. “The best night.” He shuffled the newspaper and folded it, placing it on the coffee table. “So I take it you got over your fear and told Miranda how you feel?” I poured the brown ambrosia into my mug, taking another deep smell. Damn this is good coffee! “You could say that. Mostly I just showed her how I felt...all night long.” We both laughed.

“You two are awful chipper this afternoon.” We both turned toward the voice, it was Natasha. I saw Steve straighten in his seat, his eyes watching her as she walked across the room and grabbed a bottled water from the mini bar. She was dressed in workout gear, black leggings that came to mid calf and a sports bra, also black. She seriously needs some color in her life.

“I guess we’re just in a good mood, and why not, it is a new year after all. No telling what this year holds for us.” She smirked at me, “Looks like you were holding Randa pretty close last night. Am I to guess she’s the reason for the smile on your face?” I shrugged, “Maybe it is or maybe it...ok yeah it totally is.” She grinned and winked at me then tilted her head back to take a few swings of the water.

A droplet of water fell from her lips and landed on her sternum. I watched as Steve tracked the path of the water as it disappeared in between the valley of her breasts. He cleared his throat and shifted in his chair. Hmm what is up with him today? He’s acting weird, especially since Natasha came in...wait, did something happen between them last night??

I frowned in confusion as Steve went to pick up his newspaper again, he caught me looking. “What?” I motioned toward him, “You’re acting all squirrelly. What happened last night?” His eyes widened slightly, “Nothing happened last night, and I’m not acting squirrelly. It was just..a long night that’s all.” Huh, ok, he’s deflecting, now I know he’s hiding something.

“Don’t tell me you actually kissed Grace at midnight...please say you didn’t!” He frowned and looked disgusted, “God No! You were right about her. Worst decision ever.” I laughed and stirred some cream and sugar into my mug. “Damn right I was! Anyone with eyes could see she was nothing but a fame junky. She would have rode you hard then leave to tell everyone about it for attention.” He sputtered his coffee the moment I said ‘ride you hard’.

“Jesus Buck, Don’t hold anything back, tell me what you really think.” He wiped the coffee off his chin. Natasha laughed under her breath, “I think Thor even tired of her attention last night. I heard from Clint that he had to practically peel her off his arm.” She turned and threw her now empty bottle into the recycling bin, grabbing another from the fridge. “I’m just glad I didn’t have to end the night with her.” The way he said her peaked my interest all over again.

“I still say you’re hiding something from me Steve.” Natasha tapped me on the metal arm with her water bottle. “Isn’t it considered bad manners from your time to kiss n tell? Maybe Steve is just being a gentleman.” I snorted, “Please! Men are men, no matter what year they were born in.” Steve nodded, “True, but there are exceptions. Not you of course. You use to dish out play by play of every Dame you hooked up with.”

Natasha raised an eyebrow at Steve, cocking a hip in the process. “I mean woman.” She smiled, satisfied with his change of words, taking a seat on the couch. “Am I the only one who thinks Steve saying ‘hooked up’ is like seeing a gorilla in a tutu..it’s just all sorts of wrong.” Tony walked in looking crisp and clean in a nice dark blue suit. Steve sighed deeply and returned to reading his paper out of annoyance. As much as he drank last night, he shouldn’t look that good. 

I went to refill my cup and noticed Tony grinning, which immediately made me wonder what he was up to. Stirring my cup I watched as he put his hands in his suit pockets and walked and whistled, going around the couch to stand in front of the coffee table. He cleared his throat, “So, How was everyone’s night...enjoy the party?” Where is he going with this?

Natasha shrugged, “It was alright, your bartender couldn’t make a decent Manhattan to save his soul, but still, it was nice.” Steve who didn’t even put down his paper answered too. “Yeah, it was good.” Tony grinned wider, pulling something from his pocket and set it on the coffee table in front of Steve. “Here you go Steve, I believe you left these in the stairwell last night.”

I peeked over the couch to see what he put down. Steve put his paper on his lap and his eyes widened. Natasha just grinned. It was a handful of buttons..dress shirt buttons. What the hell?! Steve looked like a deer caught in headlights, “Uh..” Tony couldn’t hold back the laugh, “I wonder who could have done such a thing to your tux Steve...Natasha, any hint of who the lucky lady is?? Hmm?” 

I spewed my coffee out, “Holy shit! Steve! You and Natasha?!” Steve’s eyes kept darting between me and Nat. “I, Uh...well...” She stood up and took the newspaper from Steve’s hand, folding it and setting it down on the coffee table neatly. “Come on Steve...let’s leave the children to wonder whether or not we screwed each other’s brains out. I need a sparing partner anyway.” 

The grin on my face only got bigger as she took Steve’s hand in hers and pulled him to stand up. He followed her toward the lift. He looked back at me and winked. That son of a bitch!! He did...they did! “Way to go Steve!” I could see Natasha’s lips turn up into a smile. “Bout damn time Rogers!” Tony looked at me and we both cracked up laughing.

I grabbed a napkin and began to wipe the coffe off my shirt. “Wait..how did you know it was Steve’s buttons?” He rocked on his heels, “Jarvis, would you care to let Sargent Barnes know the answer to that question.” ‘Of course Sir. The stairwells are always under video surveillance, especially the emergency exits.’ Whoa!

“You mean you have video of them?! Holy Shit Stark! Does Steve know about the surveillance?” He shook his head, “Nope...but Tasha does.” I couldn’t contain the laughter. “Oh I think I need to see that video.” Jarvis cut in, ‘Sorry to disappoint you both, but Ms. Romanov has already transferred the video to her private collection, with strict instructions that if anyone tries to retrieve them, they will deal with her personally.’

Tony looked pissed, “Dammit! I can still hack into..” ‘I would remind you Sir that it will not be in your best interest to anger her. She’s described in detail what would happen if you do. I’ve transferred a transcript to your phone.’ I watched Tony pull out his phone as it chimed. His face paled as he read. “Uh, hmm...I think I’ve changed my mind. Not worth it.” ‘A good decision Sir.’

Tony walked out to go God know where, grumbling under his breath about having dangerous women around. I still can’t believe it...Steve fucked Natasha in a stairwell?! Wow! Just Wow!! He just doesn’t seem the type, he never has. But still, leave it to Steve to constantly surprise me. I don’t think I have ever been more proud of him than I am in this very moment. I agree with Tony, it’s about time Rogers...it’s about time.


	11. This Seems Familiar

Natasha

I pulled Steve along behind me into the lift. His hand gripped mine tight, a boyish grin on his face. The doors closed and I released my hold on him. “Gym.” We began to move. “How do you think Tony knew about the stairwell? Did he see us?” I couldn’t hide the grin, “Oh he saw us alright. On video.” His eyes went wide, his mouth gaping open just a bit. “What!? Video??”

I leaned against the wall, arms crossed. “The stairwells are all under video surveillance. I take it you didn’t know that?” He shook his head, “No I didn’t obviously...otherwise...you know, we wouldn’t have...been intimate.” His face grew beet red. “Suddenly so shy? Where’s the Steve Rogers who pushed me against a concrete wall and took me hard from behind?” 

The lift doors opened and Clint was waiting to get on. “Hey Steve..Tash..” Steve sighed loudly, not letting him finish his sentence, “Sorry Barton, occupied.” He slammed his hand on the button to close the doors. Clint looked thoroughly confused as the door shut in his face. “Well that was rude.” He stepped closer to me, “Jarvis lock this lift, no one comes in or out until I say.” ‘As you wish Captain.’

“Kidnapping is definitely not your M.O. either. What has got in to you Steve?” He knew I was teasing him, he can always tell. That’s the fun of it. “Detaining...not kidnapping.” I let out a short laugh, “Oh, is that what we’re going to call this...detaining. Sounds kinky.” His demeanor changed briefly, eyes drifting down to my lips...and lower.

He cleared his throat as if to regain some kind of control. “Quit teasing for just a moment if you’re able to. Answer me this..did you know about the surveillance before or after the stairwell?” His hands braced me in against the lift. I smirked, “Before.” He suddenly looked angry, pissed actually. Reminded me of the face he had just inches in front of me when he had questioned me about what was on the flash drive in DC.

“Why didn’t you say something?! What makes you think I’m the kind of man who wants his personal life, especially intimate matters recorded for everyone’s perversion!” He is so damn hot when he’s mad. I could see his pulse racing at the juncture of his neck, the urge to bite him there was definitely present. “I’m hurt that you’d think I’d allow our encounter to be shared by anyone.”

His face relaxed just a bit. “I didn’t say anything to you because if I did, you would have stopped. I think neither of us wanted to stop.” He inhaled deeply and dipped his head, a signal of acceptance of what I was telling him. “I’m not stupid Steve. I had Jarvis transfer the video files to my personal file. No one can touch it there. Tony never saw us having sex..the video cut off just as we entered the stairwell. Yes he knew we were there, but he never saw what we did.” 

This time he took a bigger sigh of relief, but then paused, looking up quizzically at me. “You saved it...to your personal files? For what exactly?” I reached a hand out and drug my pointer finger from his Adam’s apple down to his navel, he swallowed hard. “Oh I think you know why. Don’t you?” His smile answered my question. 

Inching closer, his voice lowered, “You left before I woke up this morning.” His eyes tracked my tongue as it licked my bottom lip. “I did. I figured you wouldn’t want me to hang around too long. Might seem clingy...and we both know how much you despise clingy. Besides, I don’t know exactly what this (motioning between us both) is. Was it a one time thing, brought on by the mood of New Years, a little too much Asgardian Ale? Are you looking for a friends with benefits? Which I’m not opposed to...but I know you Steve, more than maybe I should. This wasn’t just a fling for you..was it?”

I watched his expressions as I spoke, gauging his reactions. “No, it wasn’t. I know I like you Natasha, more than just as my friend and colleague. I have for quite a while.” I couldn’t hide my smile, he brings them out in me so often. “I know. I like you too Steve, more than friends and colleagues as well, but I think you figured that out last night...multiple times.” His blush made me feel warm inside.

A hand made it to my waist, pulling me flush against his hard body. “I did. I wouldn’t mind a repeat.” His eyes filled with lust, pupils dilating, just before he dipped his head to kiss me. His lips met my fingers instead, causing his head to pull up. “I wasn’t lying Captain, I need a sparing partner. Why don’t you go change and meet me in the gym. Maybe this time you’ll actually pin me.”

He groaned as I stroked his lips softly and dragged them down his chin. “Tease.” I knew he was being playful. “Maybe...what are you going to do about it?” He pulled away from me. “Resume lift to the gym. Apparently I’m going to get changed.” The doors opened to the gym and I walked through, his hand reached out and grabbed my bicep. “Maybe this time I won’t let you win.” I was left shocked as he grinned, the doors shutting. “That dirty bastard!” Oh this is definitely going to be fun!

About fifteen minutes later as I was finishing up stretching on the mat, Steve came sauntering in the door. I had us set up in the middle sparing ring. Thankfully most of the compound was out for New Years, the rest were sleeping in and probably nursing hangovers from last night. Which meant, the gym was completely empty.

Steve was wearing his dark blue track pants and matching skin tight Under Armor shirt. I pulled my self up to a sitting position and watched him walk toward me, half grin on his face, eyes scanning the gym, obviously seeing for himself that we were alone. I pulled my legs up, bending them at the knees and wrapped my arms around them. “You didn’t chicken out.”

He gave me that sinful half smile, “Never. You don’t scare me.” Hmm, really. “Oh, is that so...well I guess I’ll have to see what I can do about that.” Catching him off guard, I spun on the floor, kicking my leg out and sweeping him. He fell hard onto his back, a loud “Oomph!” was the only sound he made. I arched and kicked up onto my feet and stared down at him. “Scared yet?”

He smirked and shook his head before getting up off the floor. “Takes more than a leg sweep to scare me.” I rotated my neck, hearing it pop audibly. “Good.” I attacked. It was like a dance, blow after blow on both sides deflected. He was holding back before..how interesting. This was going to be more enjoyable than I first thought.

Faking a spin to the left, I went right, leaping onto his back. I twisted, wrapped my thighs around his neck and slammed him hard onto his back. We landed with me sitting on his chest, thighs still wrapped around his neck tight, cutting off his air. “Well, now this position seems familiar.” Even though he couldn’t breath he still smiled.

He grabbed my legs and used his superior strength to pry my legs off of him, throwing me onto my back. I went to move out of attack range, but I wasn’t quite quick enough. I had made it to my hands and knees only to be pushed into the mat, my breath knocked out of me from the force. He was across my back, strong hands holding my wrists down. He moved his mouth to my ear and spoke as I gasped for air. “This seems familiar too.” 

I felt his erection pressing into my rear. He’s enjoying this just as much as I am..maybe more. After all, besides the guys, he’s never able to show his full strength with a woman. He’s told me in the past he’s afraid he will hurt them. But not with me...never with me. He’s able to be who he truly is, serum and all. I get the sweet and the strong, calm and the passionate, gentle and even the rough...oh yes, he likes it rough!

I pushed my rear into him and he groaned against the shell of my ear. “Behave.” He almost growled it, teeth clenched. “Now what’s the fun in that?” I arched again, rubbing him just right, his eyes closed and when his grip on my wrists slacked just a little, I took the opportunity to turn the tables. Within a heartbeat he was again on his back.

I held his arms down by his head and sat on his abs. I could feel them clench. I smirked down at him and he back at me, “What, no statement about this looking familiar as well?” He laughed and stretched his arms up over his head, pulling me, making me lean over him. My breasts were mere inches from his face. He licked his lips, as if he were remembering what it was like to take one of my hard nipples into his mouth.

Without warning, I jumped up and left him on the floor. He stared at me as if I took away his favorite toy. I wasn’t quite done with him just yet. I crooked my finger, coaxing him to stand. For another thirty minutes we went toe to toe. Both of us getting more and more turned on the longer we went. We both knew this was mere forplay, leading up to something big.

We were both sweating, probably both sporting some bruises. The last time I felt his erection against my back, it was so damn hard! How he was holding back just proved how much control he had. But I wanted him to lose control, take me passionately, giving me all he has to offer. It had better happen soon, I’m beyond wet and throbbing to have him inside me.

He landed hard on his stomach, grunting..I’m sure that didn’t feel good on his dick. I quickly climbed on his back and grabbed his hair, jerking his head up slightly, biting his neck hard, just shy of breaking skin. He hissed in pain. “Ow!! Dammit Natasha!!” I still had a grip on his hair as I hissed into his ear, “Just claiming what’s mine.” I felt his entire body go rigid.

Faster than I thought possible, he reversed our positions, grabbing a handful of my own hair, my face in the mat. He straddled my thighs and leaned over me, pulling my head to the side, “Just like a spider..biting when you’re not looking.” I gasped then moaned loudly as I felt his other hand slide between my legs, stroking me through my leggings. He could feel how soaking wet I was.

“I do love it when you get so wet for me.” He pressed his cock into me rear and another moan left my throat. I threw an elbow back and clocked him, sending him sprawling back. Leaping up he managed to block a roundhouse kick to the head, holding onto my foot. He jerked it making me fall onto my back, he was on me again in a second. 

There wasn’t even a pause, the moment he descended upon me, my legs wrapped around his waist as he crashed his lips on mine. I could taste the blood from where I hit him, the coppery taste made me arch into him. He palmed my ass and pulled me harder against his cock, rocking into me. I wanted him... Now!! I pulled my lips from his, both of us panting. “Shower! Now!”

He lifted me off the floor, legs still around his middle as he hurried us toward the locker rooms and showers. This time Steve beat me to my next thought. “Jarvis, save all video feed from the gym and send it to my personal computer in my quarters. Then erase the files off the mainframe.” I smirked at him, seems Steve wants to watch our sparing match later, maybe for training purposes....yeah, not likely.

My back was pressed against tile of one of the showers. He pulled my legs from his waist and turned me around, facing the wall. He knelt down and pulled my legging off my hips and down my legs in one tug. Shoes, socks and all came off, flung onto a nearby bench. He kissed up my thighs, nipping at my rear. I nearly couldn’t think..only feel. 

He spun me around and grinned up at me as he pulled one leg over his shoulder. I arched and moaned his name, slamming my head into the tiled wall as he dove in, his tongue working magic on my clit. I pulled my sports bra off and threw it onto my other clothing. I clawed at his shirt, needing to feel his skin beneath my fingers.

He paused momentarily to oblige my searching fingers. I settled to just grabbing his hair, rocking my pelvis against his face. It wasn’t enough! More! I needed more!! “Steve!” He looked up and he understood the hunger in my eyes. Without a single word he stood and removed the rest of his clothing. I started the shower and warm, steaming water poured down on us as we came together again. 

I slid against his wet skin, both of us trying to touch every inch of the others body. He groaned and lifted me, wrapping me again around his waist. With his mouth on mine, he slowly slid inside me. He bottomed out and ground his pelvis into me, making me whimper and beg for more. “Please..Steve...” He kissed me just below my ear almost reverently, “I’ve got you Baby..I’ve got you..always.” 

I didn’t have time to even wrap my mind around his endearment, I was beyond thought. His hips pounded into me, wet skin slapping against the other, our combined moans echoing throughout the entire locker room. I buried my head into the crook of his neck, panting, feeling his pulse against my lips. One hand was tangled in my hair as he cupped the back of my head, the other wrapped around my waist.

The hold was so intimate, especially when he began to slow down his hard thrusts into long and smooth. He kissed my neck, sighs of my name dripping from his lips that sounded downright sinful. A sudden thought hit me, it hit me hard...he was making love to me. Oh God!! It’s as if every emotion he felt was poured from him and into me. 

I expected to be revolted, angry...anything than what I actually felt...deep and loving affection. I shuddered and felt myself reaching my peak, his pelvis rubbing my clit just right, the angle of his cock was hitting me deep and right into my gspot. I was going to cum, and soon. He must have sensed the change because he pulled my head from his neck. The look in his eyes nearly did me in. “Let loose Baby...I’ll always be here to catch you.” 

He kissed me just as I came. He swallowed every gasp and moan. He cried out and buried his face into my neck as he came right behind me. I stroked his hair, neck and back, kissing him gently as he slowed down his thrusts, eventually stopping. Both our breathing was labored, neither of us wanted to move. I felt as if we were wrapped in our own little bubble that no one could penetrate.

I sighed as he slid from me and set me on my feet. We stayed silent as we both washed the other. I was afraid to speak that it would somehow make this awkward or weird in some way. When we were fully dressed we began to walk out of the locker rooms. He pulled me back suddenly and into his chest, hand cupping my face. “I meant every word. Not talking about it doesn’t mean it didn’t happen. I need you to know that.”

His eyes searched mine for a reaction..any reaction to letting himself reveal in a small way, how he feels about me. My own hand cupped his before I went up on tiptoe and gently kissed his lips. I said the first thing that came to my mind, hoping it was the right thing to say. “You’re the only one who I would ever let catch me if I fall.” Maybe it wasn’t a declaration of love, but from the smile on his face, he understood completely.


	12. Love Is For The Strong

Steve

I had a bounce to my steps that just wouldn't go away. I know what Natasha said wasn't precisely what I was hoping for, but it was more than I thought she would ever give anyone. I knew Bucky would rib me for this, finding out about us. Not to mention not telling him about it in the first place. It's not like he didn't know that I had an attraction toward her. Hell, he'd tease me about it more times than not. 

I didn't need to work today, but I decided it wouldn't hurt to just check in and see what's going on in the world. After all, bad guys sure don't care if its New Years day in America or not. I walked into Command and only a skeleton crew was holding the fort down. Maria was there, as usual, she never takes a day off. She nodded toward me in a greeting as she looked over something in a file. Surprisingly Clint was here. I felt bad about shutting the door in his face. An apology is definitely in order.

"Hey Barton, got a minute?" He walked toward me, the look on his face hard to read. He didn't look mad..I think. "For you Cap, I got two. What's up? Want to close another lift door in my face?" His grin told me he definitely wasn't mad. "Yeah, about that..Sorry. Natasha and I were in the middle of a conversation." He shrugged, "Eh, Its alright, no hard feelings. Though, this does give me an excuse to have this conversation with you. Mind if we go somewhere more..private?" Well now my interest was peaked, perhaps he was mad after all.

"Sure, lets go to my office." I lead the way down the hall. The room was decorated with antique furniture, Tony's idea...of course. But I had to admit, the desk was incredible. "What do you want to talk about? Did Laura have a good time? She didn't have any problems from security did she? I made sure her clearance was in and approved before she got here." He shook his head, "Naw, Laura's good. This isn't about her...its about Natasha." Oh...he wants to talk about that. Yikes.

"Natasha? What about her?" Yeah, he's not going to see through that cover up. "I think we both know what this is about. Tony pretty much told everyone." Oh Lord, of course he did! I sighed loudly and leaned against the desk, arms crossed. "Well, he wouldn't be Tony if he didn't I suppose. Not that he really knows what happened." Clint nodded in agreement. "Look, I don't want to step on anyone's toes. I know this will sound crazy coming from me to you, but I'm going to say it anyway. Don't hurt her. I know she's The Widow and she's always putting out the vibes of being so cool, calm and collected. It may not seem like it, but she has feelings just like any other woman. Ok, maybe not quite like EVERY woman, but you get what I'm saying."

"So is this like the big brother speech I'm getting, the 'Don't hurt her or I'll kick your ass' kind of thing?" He laughed, "Yeah, I guess it is. Not that I'm her brother, but we're close, and I've never seen her this way before. She won't admit to acting different, but it takes a trained eye to catch the subtleties in her demeanor and how she speaks to you. There's a reason why she says love is for children. Do I believe her incapable of loving someone? I don't know, I guess only time will tell. Just ya know, don't hurt her, because if you do, Cap or not, I will shoot an arrow up your ass when you least expect it." I grimaced at the thought of such a thing.

"I'll do my best. Just so you know, I really care about her. I don't want to hurt her, though I feel as if she has the power to hurt me." We stood in silence for a moment before Barton spoke again. "I'm glad she's finally allowing herself to have some happiness. She closed herself off to it for so long. I guess all it took was finding the right man." We exchanged a knowing look before he moved toward the door. "I'm heading back to the farm for a few days...call me if you need me." I nodded, "Copy that..have a safe flight Clint." He walked out, closing the door behind him.

He gave me a lot to think about. I knew I had never seen Natasha with someone before, or even heard her talk about someone from her past...well except Clint. Which I have to say is a little weird knowing those two have slept together. Its obvious that Clint cares deeply about her well being. I had to admit, Clint has a point. She's closed herself off for some reason, a reason I wish I knew. I hope there comes a time that she will be comfortable around me enough to maybe tell me. From how things went this afternoon, I must be heading in the right direction.

I noticed the change in her during the whole downfall of SHEILD. The talk in the stolen truck, the look she gave me when I told her I trusted her to save my life if it came down to it. Something shifted, I could see it in her eyes, the way she talked to me, touched me and even how she looked at me. I'm not sure I did anything special to make her change her view of me, but whatever it was...I'm damn glad I did it. 

Not long after Clint left, Bucky decided to pay me a visit. I KNEW that was coming. I was reviewing a file Maria emailed me when my door opened quickly, startling me. "Jeeze Bucky! Bout scared me death!" He looked around the room then ducked and looked under my desk. "No Natasha?" I shook my head, "No, she's not here, why? Are you looking for her?" He plopped down on a chair in front of my desk. "No, I was actually looking for you. Just surprised Nats not here...considering." He grinned and winked at me. "You expected her to be under my desk?" He wiggled his eyebrows, "When it comes to Natasha...you never know." Oh Lord have mercy! Though that does create a wonderful image.

"Sorry to disappoint you pal, but its just me here. Though you did miss Clint giving me the whole Big Brother speech. Gotta say, never thought I'd ever get one of those." Bucky huffed, "Please! Big Brother talks are nothing...now the Old Man...Yeah that shit's scary. I had a few of those back in the day." Oh yeah, "I remember you coming home on more than one occasion, pale as a ghost after a dame's Father had his little talk with you." He grimaced, "The scariest one was this really big guy..he told me that he owns a gun and 100 acres of land and no one would ever find my body. I about peed my pants!" We both laughed.

"So, You and Natasha....nice! I bet there's an interesting and juicy story there. What happened?" I told him without too much graphic detail how it all happened. He snorted at the White Russian, "Subtle Red...real subtle." I sighed, "Well apparently it was to me, took me a few minutes to figure out what she was trying to tell me." He rolled his eyes, “You were never one to pick up on hints from the opposite sex, what makes you think now would be any different?” He did have a point.

“Enough about me..tell me about you and Miranda.” His face lit up, “She’s amazing Steve! Beautiful inside and out! The whole package! Though extremely shy...not that you didn’t already know that. Hell, she’s a virgin, well, was a virgin.” He wiggled his eyebrows suggestively. “Ah..I see. I had a feeling she was. I’ve never seen her with anyone. Not to mention she avoids people like the plague. I’m happy for you Pal. You’ve got yourself a real keeper. Now don’t screw it up.”

He scoffed at my words, “Please! I’m not going to screw anything up. Well, at least I hope I won’t. I really like her Steve...she’s...she’s just...Wow! I can’t even put it to words! She makes me feel things I haven’t before.” My curiosity was definitely peaked. “Like what exactly?” He sighed and slumped down in the chair, looking up to the ceiling as if daydreaming about her. 

“She makes me want to do better..be better, ya know? When I’m with her, I feel, I don’t know...normal. I know that sounds probably stupid, but it’s the truth. She doesn’t look at me weird or fear me. I’m just Bucky to her. I can’t even tell you how amazing that feels.” He had a wistful look on his face. “I think the best part is she trusts me. Hell she trusted me with her virtue for Christ’s sake! She chose me to be her first...that’s something Steve...something special.”

“Sounds like you’re in love.” He laughed and shrugged his shoulders, “I don’t know, maybe I am. All I do know is all this talking about her makes me want to see her again.” I motioned toward the door, “Then go to her. Be happy for once Bucky. You deserve it.” He jumped up out of the chair, making a beeline for the door. Before leaving he turned, “You deserve happiness too Steve. Don’t let Natasha go..she’s good for you and you for her.” I nodded and he waved bye as he left.

I sighed heavily and stared at my computer screen, no longer reading the files, instead thinking about Natasha. I knew I cared deeply for her, but is it love? I do know my feelings for her haven’t waned these last few years, only growing stronger. There are moments when I think, yes, yes I love her...but other times when I’m not sure, perhaps out of fear of rejection. I think what holds me back is the thought that she’ll never love me back..not how I want her to.

I closed my laptop, there was no point in even trying to focus on work right now. My mind was definitely elsewhere. I knew what I wanted to do, I want to go see Tasha. But, on the other hand I don’t want to smother her. This, whatever it is between us, is new and it feels very fragile. I feel like any moment she’ll decide she doesn’t want me anymore. It’s like a dark cloud hanging over my head.

“Why the serious face? Are we all in mortal danger?” My eyes shot up to the doorway. Tasha was leaning against the door frame, her signature smirk on her lips. I smiled and laughed under my breath, “No, nothing so dramatic I’m afraid.” She straightened and walked slowly inside the room, closing the door behind her. I couldn’t hide my smile as I heard the lock click into place.

“Anything I can help with?” My heart rate sped up slightly as she literally stalked toward me. It amazes me how the simple act of walking, when it’s her, turns into something alluring and seductive. “That depends.” Her lips curled up as she rounded my desk and perched on the edge. “On what exactly?” God I can smell her perfume, it makes me want to bury my face into her neck and never leave.

I turned my chair slightly, “How far you’re willing to go...to help.” She was wearing a tight black skirt with matching heels. “I’m sure you know exactly how far..(she slid in front of me, still sitting on my desk, placing a leg on either side of my own) I’m willing to go...for you.” I swallowed down the lump in my throat. The temperature in the room seemed to spike dramatically.

“Is that so?” She nodded once, her right leg shifting to rub against my outer thigh. “You don’t believe me?” I skimmed my hands slowly up her legs, feeling her soft skin. “I don’t know what to believe when it comes to you.” I immediately regretted saying it. Why couldn’t I just keep my mouth shut and just continue with the obvious seduction. I felt her tense slightly below my hands. I looked up and she had a frown on her face. Dammit! Me and my big mouth!

“You don’t believe I’m being sincere?” I groaned and pushed my chair closer to her, “Just forget I said anything.” Her head shook, “No, I won’t. I know I tease you a lot, mostly for my own enjoyment from your reactions. I’m not one to let my emotions be seen by others. When you do, people can use that against you...when they find out what you hold dear and love, it makes you vulnerable. It makes you weak. They prey on weakness.”

She took a deep breath and seemed to collect herself. “You think by showing that you have feelings for me will what...make you weak?” She didn’t have to answer me...her look said it all. “Tasha, love doesn’t make you weak, it makes you stronger.” I swear I saw her eyes water briefly. “It does when you lose what you love.” I was surprised she was, in her way, opening up to me.

I pulled her hands off the desk and caressed her knuckles, somehow hoping to rid her of the frown on her face. “You lost something you love?” She nodded, “I lost everything. Including myself.” I could almost feel her trying to shut down on me, I couldn’t let that happen. “Natalia..” She looked up at me from where she was staring a hole in the floor. “You won’t lose me.”

She had that same shocked look on her face that she had when I told her I trusted her with my life. Her hands trembled in my own. “How do you know that for sure?” I reached up and grabbed her waist, pulling her onto my lap, her legs straddling my thighs. “Because, I’ve lost everything before too...and I refuse to lose one more thing I love.” Her gasp was audible.

“Steve...I...” I cupped her cheek and stroked the soft skin there. “I know...you’re not ready to take that leap just yet. Just remember what I told you, and when you are ready...I’ll be here to catch you..always.” Her eyes searched mine and a smile crept onto her lips, just before she allowed me to pull her in for a kiss.


	13. New Year’s Kiss

Bucky

I left Steve’s office feeling as if I was on cloud nine. Just talking about Miranda had my head swimming with the need to see her again. I passed Natasha on the way out of Command. “Barnes.” She gave me a crooked smile. “Romanov.” I couldn’t help but grin as I saw the state of her attire. Tight black skirt, black stilettos and form fitting top. Someone is definitely getting laid soon. 

I’m glad Steve finally manned up and acted on his feelings. From the moment I came here it was obvious those two were destined to get together. Steve grounds Natasha and gives her stability. Natasha makes him get out of his comfort zone, pushing him to be more in the moment. They bring out the best in each other. 

Arriving at Miranda’s door, I knocked, rocking back onto my heels as I waited for her to answer. The door opened and she immediately gave a huge smile, “Bucky! Hi, I didn’t expect to see you so soon.” I returned her smile and leaned in, kissing her cheek as I entered her quarters. “Couldn’t stay away doll. Steve and I were talking and it made me want to see you...I hope that’s ok. I mean I don’t want to come on too strong so quickly.”

Nerves made me question my timing of my visit. She shut her door and walked with me toward her living room. “I think that ship has already sailed, don’t you think. I mean we’ve already slept together...that’s about as fast as it gets. Unless you’re here to propose then we may have an issue..” her eyes widened as she realized what she said. It was cute watching her backtrack.

“I, Uh, I mean not that you’d want to marry me...or even want to get married to...I’m just going to stop talking now.” Her blush was quite cute. I tipped her chin up with my finger until she looked me in the eyes. “I’m not here to propose...though now that you mention it...” Her mouth hung open in shock. I laughed, “Just pulling your chain Miranda...it’s ok.” She joined me in laughing.

“Look, I didn’t come here for anything but maybe your company. We could watch a movie or...what were you doing before I showed up?” She looked over at the couch, “Well...Uhhh...” I saw the blanket and book laid out and I couldn’t help but smile. “You were reading...I’m sorry I disturbed you. I could go if you want?” Please say no...please please say no!

“No! Bucky you’re not bothering me at all!” I couldn’t hide my excitement at her words. “That’s good..I’m glad. Well...maybe you could read to me? I love to listen to your voice.” She blushed a deep crimson and shuffled nervously on her feet. “I..I don’t know...are you sure??” With a wink I grabbed her hand and pulled her the rest of the way to the couch.

I settled us into the small sofa, Miranda positioned between my legs and leaning back onto my chest. The warm blanket was draped over both our legs. She fiddled with the pages in the book nervously before she finally took a deep breath and began to read. I didn’t know it in that moment that this would become our tradition, so to speak, me wrapped around her as she lay against me, reading until I fell asleep. I soon discovered that on nights she read to me, my nightmares didn’t come.

Our relationship blossomed, one date leading to another and another and before we knew it we were sharing ‘I love yous’ and making plans for our future together. I couldn’t see it that first night she read to me, that one day a few years into the future, we’d be in this same position, my arms curled around her and feeling our son move and kick to the sound of his mother’s voice.

The years were kind to us, giving us both the love and family we were both missing and desperately craving. Miranda will always be my beautiful and smart shy violet, but I wouldn’t have her any other way. 

Steve on the other hand, he had it a little more rough going than we did. He fell hard for Natasha. Not that any of us didn’t see it coming. The day Steve finally confessed his feeling to her, she freaked out and bolted. She left him a letter telling him that he deserved better. He deserved someone who could give him a family and someone who could love him without restraint that wasn’t broken...It broke his heart.

She was gone for almost three months, we had almost lost hope that she would ever come back. But, one day out of the blue, Steve came home from a mission weary and worn down...only to find Natasha standing in his living room, waiting for him. 

Steve told me he was shocked to say the least, to finally see her again. He thought he’d be angry, but instead he was relieved. He worried about her nonstop when she left, even though he knew she was very capable of taking care of herself. He said the sight of her made his heart skip a beat and time stood still as he waited for her to speak, almost afraid of spooking her.

She had slowly approached him with a shy smile on her face and tear filled eyes. Steve said there were no words spoken, she simply came to him and he enveloped her into his waiting arms. It was later after making love that they finally talked. She told him she loved him too and how stupid she was for ever running away. 

Begging for forgiveness, she promised to never leave again. I had asked Steve if he ever thought of turning her down, to which he replied, “I love her Bucky...there was no other decision to make. We all make mistakes and do things we regret. Natasha’s no different. Besides, when have you ever known her to break a promise?” My answer was of course, never.

I never pictured all those years ago as I saw Miranda standing in that sinful dress, just as nervous as I was, that that one night would change so many lives. I got to be with Miranda, the love of my life, wife and mother of my child. Steve found his happily ever after as well, though the road was a bumpy one. He and Natasha married and couldn’t be happier. And to think it all started with a New Year’s Kiss.


End file.
